DBV: The Lost Chapters & Abridged
by Verto-Briefs
Summary: The following is a collection of short stories, one shots, what-if scenarios and parodies that most likely pertain to DBZ or DBV in general. Spoiler warning: Read the rest of my stories before you attempt to even look at this.
1. Vegeta's Epic Day

**I wish I owned DBZ, but I don't. I own DVD's and tapes, but it just isn't the same. Nor do I own any legal imprinting of whatever theme I'm using, such as a crossover with another anime, movie or TV series. Did I think it up? Yes. Was I the first to think it up, probably not, but I digress. I also don't own the rights to any of the music pieces you see selected, just the merchandise, such a shame. The artists that created them are geniuses and we all must bow to them.**

**First things first, if you haven't read a word of this story, STOP HERE. Proceed back to Saga 1 and start there, you can reach it through the profile page. Then hit Sagas 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 **_**in that order**_** before coming back to this one. You WILL be incredibly lost if you do not read everything beforehand at least once. **

**DBV: The Lost Chapters**

The following is a collection of short stories, one shots, what-if scenarios and parodies that most likely pertain to DBZ or DBV in general. Some of these stories do happen in the DBV timeline and are merely referenced, but many of them don't. If they do apply to a general area, I will mark the approximate saga that it would take place during. The intent of most of these are not for story building, even if it happens by accident. It's simply for my own and hopefully your amusement. If you are easily offended, well that's just too bad. Odds are you shouldn't have been reading DBV to begin with, unless you're just a glutton for punishment. The same applies if I decide to completely wreck something you like (this is where the pokemon fans should probably abandon ship). As for the Abridged parts, they are spoiler heavy as well as completely random, but in a funny way. In all cases, do not expect me to adhere to the unwritten rule of keeping all characters within their own little worlds at all times. It'll be very non-canon, probably a lot of OOC moments and just plain loopy for the hell of it. This is primarily meant to be comedy, and many of us need time set aside to not be serious and get a good laugh. If you're one of those '_we must maintain each and every character to his or her known traits at all times'_ types, just close the window now. Seriously, press the X. If you're not, sit back and enjoy.

* * *

**Lost Chapter: Vegeta's Epic Day. Timeframe: Saga 7.**

Capsule Corporation, while normally peaceful, did suffer from unruly situations nearly everyday. This day was no exception.

"Vegeta! Can't you mow the lawn for once? Just this one time?" Bulma shouted into the gravity room from her control station. A video screen popped up in mid-air, revealing her irritated face to a certain Saiyan prince.

Vegeta glared back at the view screen, "If you want the grass to be gone, all you had to do was ask!"

Vegeta hadn't taken a step before Bulma's next screech stopped him, "Argh! Don't you dare even think about torching the lawn again! I want the grass to be short and green, not on fire! Is a lawn mower really that hard to use?"

"It's a useless machine that breaks all the time! And it leaves your precious grass all over the inside of my boots!"

"The all mighty Saiyan prince is afraid of a little grass, what has the world come to?"

"Shut up woman!"

Bulma's face scrunched up, "Well, if you won't mow the grass, the _Earthling way_, I won't let you use the new gravity chamber!"

Vegeta's face turned red, "You wouldn't!"

"Oh you know I will, maybe this will give you some time to think about how worthless you are around here! Maybe you can spend time with Trunks or Bulla for once!" Bulma suggested as she pressed a button that beeped loudly.

Vegeta's growl fractured the floor tiles, and it only worsened when the gravity chamber shutdown completely. _Damn woman, who the hell does she think she is?_ Vegeta ripped the door out and tossed it back inside as he grunted and left the area. _I'm not going to let this ruin my day; I'll just go get a fight out of someone if I can't train. I felt like bashing Kakarot's face anyway!_

Vegeta flew across the lands and arrived at Goku's house within an hour, but the Saiyan was nowhere nearby. There was a note on the door from Chichi, but it wasn't meant for him.

"_Gohan, me and your father went shopping for the day. Don't worry, Goten is with Grandpa, but you should probably go pick him up once you get home from school…_" The note continued on past that, but Vegeta didn't care to read the rest. He had absolutely no desire to go near a shopping mall, especially one that had Chichi inside. He considered hunting down Gohan at school, but the last time he did that he lost the gravity chamber for a month.

_Fine, I'll just consult the Namek. He's always been ready and willing to give me a few rounds._ Vegeta then searched the immediate area for Piccolo, knowing that as long as he could find a waterfall near where Gohan was, odds are he'd be there. Oddly enough, Piccolo was nowhere to be found. Vegeta scanned the entire planet and didn't find him. Then he remembered why, Goku had transported him and Dende to visit the other Nameks for a few weeks. _Damn it, looks like I'll be interrupting the boy after all. He'd better be in the mood._

* * *

Verto was observing the half Saiyan-Lenz as she practiced with Psionic Energy control. She was apparently in the process of learning one of his flashy attacks when Vegeta landed and killed her concentration. She did perk up slightly at his arrival, but then glanced back at her teacher, who was none too pleased.

"Tell me this isn't a social call. What is the crisis, because if there isn't one you have exactly ten seconds to leave," Verto grumbled.

"I want a fight, I'm bored!" Vegeta claimed.

"We had a deal, you wouldn't interrupt for anything, and that includes whenever Bulma throws you out of the house for whatever you did this time. Was it Bulla's diaper this time, or something stupid like not mowing the lawn?"

"Watch it boy, I can still wipe the floor with you!" Vegeta warned.

"As evidenced by your last showing in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber. You can't bully me into getting what you want anymore, so don't bother trying it! And you can't help me train Lenz either, you know that!" Verto pointed out.

"What are you making her do, sit around and stare at clouds? She doesn't look any stronger to me," Vegeta said, full smirk.

"You want to go?" Lenz fired back with a fist raised.

"Yes, he wants to put his nose into our business where it doesn't belong. But your taunting isn't going to work today. And if you push the issue, you'll be leaving without a few limbs, got that?" Verto threatened.

Vegeta snorted, "As if you could do that to me." Verto frowned as Lenz jumped to her feet.

"Oh, can I practice the sword technique on him then? Cutting trees and energy blasts gets old after awhile!" she claimed.

"No, get back to trying to control small energy fields!" Verto barked.

"Fine, spoilsport!" Lenz grumbled as she sat back down.

"Tch! Going easy on her again I see," Vegeta said.

"Or doing it the right way, you pick one. You came looking for a fight, but you're not going to get what you want, not this time. I suggest you take your business elsewhere. Go find Goku, he's always willing," Verto pointed out.

"I'm not going near Kakarot's mate when she's got him at the mall!"

Verto's eyebrow went up, "Oh, you don't want another Hurricane Chichi eh? Which turned into Typhoon Bulma eventually if I remember right. Well Gohan's at school, probably not the best idea to go interrupt that. Piccolo's on Namek, gee I guess you really are out of fight options since there isn't a villain around at the moment. Maybe you should go watch some twenty-four hour news, that should cheer you up!" Verto suggested.

"I'm not going to listen to humans repeat the same ridiculous stories all day long! I want to fight someone, and I'm not going to settle for less! Unless of course I get to blow someone or something up, that might work for me," Vegeta countered.

"Well that's out, you know he'll cause damage with just about anything or anyone!" Lenz said.

"Unless it's in a place where he can't affect things in the real world," Verto replied.

"What do you mean?" Vegeta asked.

"Go up to the lookout and ask Popo to use the Pendulum room. Pick a point in history where you would have liked to have the upper hand, whenever that might have been. Then, do whatever you want I guess. You won't interfere with the timeline at all. Hell, maybe you can learn a thing or two while you're at it," Verto suggested. Vegeta looked perplexed, but slowly a smile covered his face as his flight aura appeared.

"Boy, if this doesn't satisfy me, I will be back!"

Verto snorted as Vegeta took off, "I'll bet he spends all week up there."

Lenz jumped at the opportunity, "I'll take that bet! If I win then you have to…"

"That was rhetorical!"

* * *

Vegeta arrived at the lookout and immediately tracked down Popo, who was busily watering flowers.

"Oh dear, Vegeta. How can I help you today?" Popo asked, slightly surprised to see the Saiyan Prince standing there.

"You will show me this Pendulum Room of yours. Tell me how it works, and you might just survive," Vegeta growled.

Popo turned his head in slight wonder, "The Pendulum Room allows you to visit the past and far off places. You can relive history with it, or even train to your heart's desire. Goku spent much of his time in that room when he trained here long ago!"

"Really, so Kakarot got stronger by training in this room eh? It must not be as effective as the Hyperbolic Time Chamber if he's never mentioned it before!"

"No, it is not like that at all. Step inside, focus on a point in history you want to visit and you will see what I mean," Popo explained vaguely.

"This better not be a trick!" Vegeta barked again as Popo led him inside the palace. Upon arrival at the Pendulum Room, Vegeta stood in the circle Popo referenced too and thought long and hard about what he wanted to do. It didn't take him long to decide on the number one place he wanted to go first, and the room seemed to come to life for him.

Vegeta appeared in a desert full of rocky and random cliffs. He sensed two weak powers fighting each other nearby and flew there to investigate. Vegeta quickly stopped in pure surprise as he witness two large energy beams clashing with each other, both of which he recognized. One of them was the blue Kamehameha, fired from Goku himself. The other was his purple Galic Gun, and he didn't have to wonder who was firing back. Vegeta hovered in the air as he observed Goku eventually overpower his counterpart and send him flying high into the skies.

_So this place works just like that fat genie said, well I might as well enjoy myself._ Vegeta flew towards the exhausted Goku as Yajirobe was talking with him about something. When he landed, Yajirobe panicked and ran off quickly, leaving only a flabbergasted Goku.

"Huh? How'd you recover so fast? Although, you do look a little different," Goku pointed out.

"Hahaha, foolish Kakarot. You must be mistaking me for someone else," Vegeta laughed. He phased out and planted his knee into Goku's stomach.

Goku fell over in pain as Vegeta stood over him in triumph, "That's right Kakarot, know your place!"

"Ugh, so strong!" Goku mumbled.

"That's right, I am the strongest in the universe!" Vegeta claimed. He heard the sound of someone coming closer and looked up to see his younger counterpart coming in for a landing.

"Who are you?" the Young-Vegeta asked.

"Don't you recognize the good looks?" Vegeta laughed.

"You resemble my father, but he's dead. And you don't have a tail," Young-Vegeta pointed out.

"Ha, I lost my need for that a long time ago! You see, Super Saiyans don't need one," Vegeta said.

"Super Saiyan? That's a myth, nothing but legend!" Young-Vegeta stated.

"I know, because I used to believe that too. Would you care for a demonstration?" Vegeta offered.

"No thanks, I'm busy beating the life out of this third class fool! So buzz off!"

Vegeta's demeanor shifted to his younger self, "Excuse me?"

"You have ears don't you? Buzz off weakling! I don't have the time nor patience to listen to a tailless loser like yourself!" Young-Vegeta retorted.

"Loser you say? That's pretty big coming from someone who is forced to grovel to Frieza at a whim!" Vegeta growled back. Both Vegetas stared each other down and grunted in the same manner.

Goku struggled to get to his feet before he felt a hint of surprise as he observed the stare down, "Wait, there's two of you now?"

"Be quiet you third class wimp! I'll finish you off in a moment," Young-Vegeta claimed.

The older Vegeta smirked, "Nobody kills Kakarot while I'm around, that pleasure belongs to me!" Young-Vegeta dove towards his counterpart and swung towards his face. Vegeta easily avoided the blow at the last moment and stepped aside. Young-Vegeta cringed in anger and turned around to strike from behind. Vegeta ducked down just in time and watched his younger self sail past him again.

Vegeta laughed, "I can't believe I used to be that weak!"

Young-Vegeta snarled, "Who are you calling weak you imbecile? I am the Prince of all Saiyans, no one is stronger than me!"

Vegeta folded his arms, "But Kakarot already is, so get used to it. To think I was as stupid as you."

Young-Vegeta's aura flashed on, becoming bright purple in color, "How dare you speak to me that way! I'll turn you and this mud-ball planet into dust!" Young-Vegeta shot into the skies as he had done before and prepared to fire his Galic Gun again. Vegeta grinned and fired a small counter blast right at him, which flashed and exploded when it hit his younger self. When the smoke cleared, Young-Vegeta was long gone, causing Vegeta to chuckle slightly.

"I guess I should say thank you," Goku said as he offered out his hand.

Vegeta turned towards him, "Yes, I suppose I did save him the trouble of beating you to a pulp. Now I get to do that myself!"

Goku let his hand drop as he wearily sunk into his stance, "You don't have to do this. There's a better way."

Vegeta's forehead filled with veins, "Oh stop that soft crap Kakarot. I can't stand hearing it from you over and over like a broken record! Now I'm the stronger one, so you will bow down to me! Otherwise I'll snap your neck in an instant!"

Goku blinked sharply, "Wait, I just met you so how can I be annoying you? Didn't we just meet a moment ago?"

Vegeta paused at the question, "…Just shut up. Where's the off switch in this thing?"

Goku turned his head in confusion, "What thing? What are you talking about?"

"The Pendulum, whatever they call it at the lookout," Vegeta grunted back.

"How do you know about the lookout?" Goku asked.

Vegeta pushed down the urge to attack, "Shut up, idiot."

Goku brightened up, "Hey I know, you must be another Saiyan that was sent here as a baby like I was. Kami must have found you and made you his replacement like he tried to do with me. That's why you're so strong!"

Vegeta's eyes went blank for a moment before anger settled back in, "WHAT?! NO!"

"He really shouldn't have kept that a secret, I mean you would have been a big help before our friends got killed and all," Goku continued.

Vegeta's jaw slipped a little at the awkward situation developing, "How did this imbecile beat me at anything?"

Goku didn't appear to notice the comment, "You should come meet all my friends, I think Bulma would like you. You see, she and our friend Yamcha haven't been able to get along well over the years and I always feel bad for her being alone and all. She isn't the best cook in the world though, and she can get pretty mean at times. Like when I accidentally found out why she wasn't a boy when I was a kid, boy she was so angry after that…"

Vegeta's reaction to that statement was the same mixture of surprise and anger, only multiplied several times over, "What the…how in the world do you function? How can you not know the difference between males and females?"

Goku stopped his rambling for a moment, "Oh, well I was still a little kid and I hadn't even seen a girl before Bulma. I really had no idea that girls had different parts than boys did until she showed me."

Vegeta's anger increased by several more levels but his voice didn't change, "She showed you?!"

Goku rubbed the back of his head, "Well not really, she was asleep. I was trying to find a nice comfortable spot to lay down and hadn't realized that she didn't have any balls. So I kind of took off her underwear to make sure she hadn't been hurt since they were missing and…"

Goku never got to finish his statement before Vegeta suddenly transformed to Super Saiyan and launched a deadly blast at close range. The blast sent smoke rising for miles around, and left behind a huge crater.

Vegeta stood alone in the crater, breathing heavily from his angry attack, "I'll destroy that fool! How dare he touch my woman!"

The area then darkened to black before a large brown object swung over his head as red lettering appeared below his feet. Vegeta's eyes shifted around to check his surroundings, quickly realizing where he was again.

"So how did it go?" Popo asked.

"Where's Kakarot? I'll tear him apart!" Vegeta roared in anger.

"Goku is not here, you may be disoriented from your journey. Remember, nothing has changed from when you left, so nothing you did will affect history."

Vegeta powered down and calmed himself, "It was, adequate."

He slowly walked out and flew off the lookout, heading back to West City. He wasn't sure what to make of his experience, but there was something about it that bothered him. He quickly landed at Capsule Corp and went inside, heading straight for Bulma's lab.

"Well look who's already back? I didn't feel any earthquakes, so does that mean you did something useful for once, or did you just start a fight somewhere else?" Bulma asked spitefully.

"Woman, I have a question for you, do not lie to me," Vegeta said in a sharp but calm tone.

"What is it?"

"Did Kakarot ever touch you in an dishonorable way? Did he ever physically assault you?" Vegeta asked.

Bulma was taken aback, "Goku? No, never. Why would you ask me that?"

Vegeta sighed, "Forget it."

"What happened? Did Master Roshi tell you about the time he caught a peak at me without my underwear on? I suppose that kind of was Goku's fault," Bulma chuckled.

"What, the old man? What did he and Kakarot do?" Vegeta asked in a raised voice.

"It was the dumbest thing, he had never seen a girl before and took it upon himself to find out why I didn't have any boy parts. The funny thing is that I didn't know it until we ran into Master Roshi the next morning and he had asked for a look at my panties in exchange for a Dragon Ball. God that was embarrassing," Bulma admitted.

Vegeta's fists shook, "Kaka…rot! You're dead!"

Bulma realized what she had said and grabbed a hold of Vegeta's gloved hand to stop him, "Relax, we were just kids at the time. The only thing that happened was Roshi got another bloody nose and Goku finally learned the difference between boys and girls. It was no big deal, although I'm not sure it really sank in for Goku until much later. You can't tell me that you didn't get into some embarrassing situations when you were younger. I imagine Frieza and his men put you through hell." Vegeta's arm slumped as he seemed deep in thought before he left the room.

* * *

Within an hour he was back on the lookout, startling Popo again.

"Oh, Vegeta. What is it this time?" Popo asked nervously. The only thing that had appeared to have changed was that Vegeta was wearing his armor this time, and he looked quite anxious.

"Fire that room up again, I'm going to have some fun," Vegeta said with a wicked grin. Popo nodded and led him back to the Pendulum Room.

Vegeta smirked evilly and tightened his gloves, "Alright Frieza, let the games begin!"

**A/N: The first of many 'Lost Chapters' out of the gate. Posting times will vary extremely as many of these I only have down as ideas and I'm busy writing the main story as well. But for those wondering, I will consider requests for topics and what-not. That doesn't mean I'll write them, that only means I'll think them over. If I turn you down, don't take offense, after all I'm a big fan of the 'do it yourself' approach. I ask that you do not leave them in a review though, use the PM feature or contact me through other means.**


	2. Verto vs Pokemon

**I wish I owned DBZ, but I don't. I own DVD's and tapes, but it just isn't the same. Nor do I own any legal imprinting of whatever theme I'm using, such as a crossover with another anime, movie or TV series. Did I think it up? Yes. Was I the first to think it up? Probably not, but I digress. I also don't own the rights to any of the music pieces you see selected, just the merchandise, such a shame. The artists that created them are geniuses and we all must bow to them.**

**Okay, this is **_**that**_** chapter to finally answer the question: What would happen if Verto ever saw any Pokemon for real? Timeframe: Saga 7. Don't bother telling me what is wrong and such, even if it's the spelling of a Pokemon name, this is for entertainment purposes only. Some of the readers that keep in contact with me have already seen this one as I've had it written for awhile now. **

_And for you pokemon fans, this isn't going to be pretty. That's your only warning._

**Lost Chapter: Verto vs Pokemon. Timeframe: Saga 7.**

"Will you watch the little heathens for us today? Me and Vegeta kind of want some alone time!" Bulma begged.

"Hmph, there better be a bonus for me this week. After all, I've been trying to keep Lenz on a tight training schedule and interruptions don't help. You're just lucky that she's with Piccolo today," Verto snorted slightly as he caught a glimpse of Goten chasing Trunks through the halls.

"Here's two thousand zeni now and three thousand more when you get back. Take them to a football game or the pool or something that will entertain them. I don't care, just as long as its far away from here! I suggest you try South City this time, they haven't caused havoc there yet!" she suggested, handing him a wad of cash.

"Give it time. What about the baby?" Verto asked carefully.

"She's with mom and dad today, so you don't need to worry about her," she said.

"Good, I'd rather not have to change diapers. Have fun," Verto said with a tight grin.

Goten was in the process of tackling Trunks and trying to get what looked to be the dragon radar away from him. As Bulma went upstairs towards Vegeta's ki signal, Verto walked slowly towards the mischievous duo, who glanced up at him in slight surprise.

"Come on you two, we're going down to South City for a little while!" he said sternly.

"Aww, but we were going Dragon Ball hunting today!" Trunks whined.

"Not anymore you're not, come on! I doubt you want to be around here when those two get going!" Verto pointed out, nudging his head slightly towards the general direction of the bedroom. Goten didn't understand right away, but Trunks clearly got the message and paled slightly as he drug Goten out the door.

* * *

Their flight to South City was quiet until they got to the outskirts. They all sensed some sort of battle going on, but the power levels were rather low despite some of the destruction in the woods. Trunks and Goten flew ahead with their usual supply of curiosity while Verto held back a bit to examine the situation. He sensed a few energy blasts going off and even saw a few lightning bolts dropping out of the sky, but they were rather weak compared to what he was used to facing. When he flew over a crowded field though, he saw something he didn't expect. Trunks and Goten were off to the side, looking both happy and excited. Standing on one end of the field was a small boy with a backwards red and white cap, and holding a red and white ball of some kind. On the other side, a pair of figures stood, both with tight fitting clothes with the letter R engraved on their shirts; a red-headed girl, and a blue-haired boy. But between them all is what drew Verto's scowl. Two creatures were fighting with each other, one was a large orange lizard that was breathing fire. The other was a yellow and black rat that was charged with electricity, and it drew Verto's death glare more than anything.

_Ugh, Pokemon! Never thought I'd see this day. _Verto frowned deeply at the way the day had started off, though he was suddenly sure that Dende had it out for him. _Well, I'm definitely not gonna hold back and humor him._ Verto promptly dropped into the battlefield and interrupted the fight.

"And what do we have here?" the girl with red hair asked. Verto slowly turned to the antagonist that dared even speak up. _Judging by the loose clothes I'd say she's been around the block a few times per day._

"A very foolish kid!" the boy said, sounding like he was a little fruity. Verto snorted slightly and eyed the smaller boy nearby, who wasn't sure what to make of things. _Okay, we have a slut and what's probably her gay boyfriend for Team Moron. Now who is contestant number three?_

"Hmph, you're the fools. Do you have names or should I just make a few up to fit my opinion?" Verto asked.

"We thought you'd never ask!" the girl said, "I'm Jessie!"

"And I'm James!" the boy added.

"We're Team Rocket!" they declared as one.

Verto cast a confused eyebrow at them both, "Right…"

"Hey, this is a Pokemon battle! Get out of the way or you'll get hurt!" the kid with the red cap shouted at Verto, drawing his glare again. _Uh huh, so what's this idiot's name?_

"And you are?" Verto asked.

The kid stuttered for a moment under the intense stare down, "Um, I'm Ash Ketchum! I'm gonna be the greatest pokemon trainer…"

"Whatever, I honestly don't care at this point. Just stay out of this for your own good," Verto warned as he stopped listening and turned around.

Just as he did, the large lizard decided he didn't like Verto's presence too much and scrunched up like he was going to come after him. Instead, he spat a large fireball from his mouth directly at his target. Verto dodged aside quickly, but not quick enough when half of his green shirt got burned off. He growled slightly and ripped the rest off, leaving only his weighted blue undershirt, which was also a bit burnt.

"So, you wanna go?" Verto asked as the lizard seemed to nod.

"Fry him, Charizard!" Jessie shouted.

"More like Char-tard," Verto remarked.

Charizard took in another breath and attempted to follow the order, but with minimal effort Verto dodged and jumped above it before kicking the lizard in the side a little harder than necessary. Charizard dropped to the ground after being kicked about fifty feet away, seemingly out cold. Verto rushed towards it and activated his Psi sword, plunging it into the lizard's head and finishing it off. Both members of Team Rocket were flabbergasted, and so was their original opponent Ash. The other two started to whisper lightly, trying to figure out what to do.

"So, who's next?" Verto asked as he twirled his sword around a bit, letting them take it in.

"What do we do? Charizard was our most powerful Pokemon and this kid wiped him out!" James pointed out, looking very nervous as Verto walked back towards them.

"We could use Mewtwo!" Jessie suggested out loud. James looked unsure of that plan, as it wasn't one he expected to hear.

"Don't you two remember what happened last time you let Mewtwo out? He almost wiped out the world and never even listened to you!" Ash shouted. The tiny rat of Ash's was currently backing up behind his legs in slight fear, as Verto had locked glaring eyes on it. Team Rocket ignored Ash, and brought out a white and red ball similar to what Ash had been holding onto.

"Well, what do you think is going to take out that kid? I'll bet that wasn't even half of his abilities," Jessie pointed out.

James nodded grimly, "Alright, you've got a point there."

"Hurry it up you two, otherwise I'll end this stupid battle now and send you both straight to Hell!" Verto declared.

"MEWTWO, I choose you!" James shouted as his ball opened up and a red lighting bolt flew out and touched the ground. It vanished quickly, leaving behind a tall pale creature with a large head. It had very strange looking hands and feet, evil red eyes and a long purple tail. For some odd reason, it made Verto think of Frieza, but there clearly wasn't a relation. The thing that he did notice about this one, it had an impressive power level with it as well.

"Goten, look! It's Mewtwo, the most powerful Pokemon ever!" Trunks pointed out, excited. Goten shared his enthusiasm for a moment, but then looked confused.

"Hey Trunks, isn't that one also the most evil one as well?" he asked.

Verto grinned almost immediately, _Ah, good. More incentive to kill another one of these pathetic things!_

"Pikachu, get him!" Ash called out as the rat came out from behind him. He ran towards Mewtwo, but stopped short and channeled his electric power.

"Pika, CHUUU!" A large lightning bolt emerged from the rat and bounced towards Mewtwo, who didn't look like he even cared. The lightning bounced off an energy shield a moment later and right back at the rat, who cast another one to cancel it out. Pikachu didn't look like he was ready to give up just yet, and stood up straight with his tiny arms spread.

"PiKa!" he shouted. A sudden lightning bolt came down from the skies and struck Mewtwo's energy shield, doing no damage. Pikachu's eyes popped open in surprise, and Mewtwo took advantage and fired a small blast directly at him. Pikachu was knocked silly and out of the fight as he fell into the forest.

Verto's eyes narrowed, _That energy._ Trunks and Goten stepped up to the plate once the rat was out of the way, obviously wanting in on the action.

"All right Mister! You're gonna get it now!" Goten said with a bright smirk as he and Trunks stepped apart. Verto sensed some of the energy within Mewtwo and slowly stepped in between the boys and the evil being.

"Hold on you two, this may not be the type of opponent you can easily take," Verto suggested.

"Nah, he's just a wimp. No one can stop the ultimate god of death!" Trunks declared, "Ready Goten? FU – Sion!" Just as they were finishing the dance, Mewtwo released an invisible energy wave, which didn't effect Verto but did knock Trunks slightly off balance behind him. Verto read the attack almost immediately and scowled as bright white-gold light went off behind him.

_Just as I thought, Psi-based Telekinesis, not bad for a piece of shit Pokemon. _Out of the bright light came a fused fat Saiyan by the name of Gotenks, and he just looked around before he promptly farted. Mewtwo growled at the rude gesture and blew Gotenks away with a slightly larger energy wave, sending him into the trees and out of view. Then he turned to Verto, who's eyes were starting to flash red with fury. There was an overwhelming urge to slaughter this particular monster and it wasn't because of what had just happened to the boys. He realized what was happening and took in a deep breath in order to curb both his anger and excitement. This energy surge did not go unnoticed however.

"You would be a great help to me in conquering this world! Join my cause!" Mewtwo demanded, though his lips did not move.

"Hey, you work for us!" Team Rocket shouted all at once. Verto quickly blasted them without looking away from Mewtwo, finishing them off for good and leaving a large scorch mark on the ground. Mewtwo looked impressed, and Ash looked like he was about to have an accident in his pants.

"Excellent work child, you may grow to be as powerful as me someday!" Mewtwo mused, turning around and facing Ash.

Verto grinned evilly as his eyes returned to their blue state and glowed, _Heh, all right I'll play along for now._

"Squirtel, I choose you!" Ash shouted, revealing his red ball. A small green turtle popped out this time, weaker than anything Verto had sensed on the field so far other than Team Rocket. Mewtwo blew it away without much of a thought, and then gestured to Verto as if it was his turn. Verto nodded sharply and turned towards Ash, keeping a rear eye on Mewtwo.

"Bring on your best!" Verto challenged.

"Blastoise, Bulbasaur, I choose you!" he shouted. Right away two more green creatures emerged. One was another turtle with what looked to be cannons on its shell. The other some sort of green plant-like frog creature with legs, though Verto really wasn't sure what to make of it. It featured a bulb of some kind on it's back. The turtle aimed its cannons and fired some sort of quick water spray that got Verto a little wet, if that. He felt that it might have knocked over a regular human, but it certainly wasn't damaging in the least. The other creature opened the leaves on its back and shot out small needles at Verto. Verto didn't know what these did, and he didn't care. He activated his Psi Shield and watched as the needles evaporated the instant they touched it, leaving behind nothing but smoke that blew away.

"That was pitiful!" Verto said, slightly disappointed.

"Just finish them off, we have bigger fish to fry!" Mewtwo suggested. Verto complied and rushed towards the two reptilian creatures, punching the turtle so hard that his shell broke just before his green blood splashed out. Verto picked it up by the shell and hurled it at the plant Pokemon, smashing it as the turtle bounced. Verto ran up and grabbed its neck, squeezing until its head popped off. The air was sprayed with yellow blood as Verto dropped it and wiped his hand off on his pants. Then he blasted the broken turtle into dust before walking back up and standing next to Mewtwo.

"Most impressive child, we shall have to test your abilities in our own little battle. For now, let's concentrate on the task at hand: Conquering this pitiful planet!" Mewtwo announced. Verto sighed, the creature obviously didn't know who it was dealing with. Verto phased out and punched it in the back of the head, but was a bit surprised when Mewtwo managed to take the blow, though he still rolled into the tree line.

"Foolish boy, we could be gods together!" Mewtwo suggested as he picked himself up.

"Uh huh. You'll forget about that dream in just a moment, get ready," Verto suggested as he promptly released his power and transformed to Super Mystic. He didn't want to, but upon feeling Mewtwo's energy, he suddenly felt that his power might have been a little more than expected and decided against taking a chance. That and he decided that if Dende was indeed behind this, he wasn't going to allow things to turn ugly. Mewtwo immediately forgot his anger as his face filled up with fear when he seemed to get a feel for what he was really up against.

"No, I take it back! You are superior, I promise to serve you for all time!" Mewtwo begged, dropping to his knees.

Verto growled immediately, "You're pathetic." He stomped forward with his energy sword in hand while Mewtwo put up his arms as if they were going to protect him. Verto swung once and chopped off one arm, and then the other. Mewtwo howled in pain as he stared at the bloody stumps. Verto paused long enough for him to see his demise coming, and then implanted his sword in the middle of his head and cut downwards until he hit his chest. He sent a large burst of Chi energy down the length of his sword, which detonated in the middle of Mewtwo's body. Body parts from Mewtwo flew everywhere and his lower half simply fell backwards.

_I take back what I thought, Yamcha could've beaten that thing, _Verto thought as he glanced over at Ash and walked towards him.

Ash was backpedaling already, "Please don't hurt me, I'm just a kid!"

"Relax, hand me the ball! Trust me, it's for your own good!" Verto ordered as Ash stood there shaking in slight fear. He handed it over without argument and Verto crushed it in his palm before tossing it in the air. Verto promptly destroyed it with a small blast and walked off.

"Hey, wait up!" Ash called. Verto growled slightly, but eased back on his energy so not to accidentally damage the kid with any sudden emotional bursts.

"What?" Verto asked with impatience, "Don't ask me to magically bring back your dead creatures! I can't do it and I certainly won't do it!"

"Forget Pokemon, I want to learn how to fight like you and be the best in the world!" Ash said excitedly, remarkably similar to Trunks and Goten. Verto bit his tongue and thought up a quick but almost accurate lie.

"You'll have to travel to meet King Kai. He lives in Other World," Verto replied, turning to leave again.

"How do I get there?" Ash asked.

Verto didn't turn around this time and kept it simple, "You have to die to meet him! If you're lucky someone might bring you back to life!"

"I'm usually pretty lucky. Okay, kill me!" Ash shouted. Verto stopped in my tracks, looking at the kid like he was crazy. _Then again, I'd be doing him a favor. Screw it; I've had enough of Dende's playtime. _Verto charged his finishing Chi blast quickly, making it so powerful that most beings wouldn't live through it.

"Okay, but you asked for it. Final Shine!" he shouted, letting Ash have it right in the chest. He vanished, leaving only the large explosion and scorched crater afterwards. Verto snorted at this and walked off, only to sense a tiny power signal behind him. He turned to see Pikachu coming back, looking quite confused that everyone had left him behind. Verto grinned sharply as Pikachu locked eyes with him, and the rat squeaked in fear.

"Pika?" it asked.

"You didn't think I'd let you go, did you?" Verto asked as he stepped forward.

"Pika!" it cried out in panic as it attempted to run the other way. It only managed a few feet before it ran into Verto's boots. It looked back at where Verto had been, and then up at him as it sweated nervously.

"Oh don't run now, you're going to help me with something," Verto said as he held out his palm. _Alright Dende, let's see how you like this one._

* * *

"Wow, this is a really good Verto. I usually don't eat anything, but I must say this better than most food that I've tried. I didn't know you could cook! What kind of animal is it made from again?" Dende asked two hours later as Goten and Trunks paled. Dende had been presented a burger with all the trimmings and was currently halfway through it.

"Let's just say that it was a very special kind of rat," Verto grinned slyly.

"I thought they were mostly scavengers. I didn't think they had much meat on their bones and thus why humans never liked them. Tastes a little dry, but its pretty good overall. Care to let me know where you got it?" Dende asked, a clueless look on his face.

"Check your daily logs, you might find something in there about an annoying yellow rat with rosy cheeks," Verto laughed as Dende's face suddenly turned blue.

"Damn it Verto, why do you always ruin my fun?" Dende snapped back as he spat out the remains of Pikachu.

Verto snorted, "Well, that'll teach you to try and mess with my day. It was bad enough to start out with those two, but throwing that particular group into the mixing bowl will almost guarantee failure! Maybe you should have taken the hint from all the of the things that have happened recently and just remember not to screw with my day." Verto flew off the lookout a moment later with the boys in tow while Dende threw a fit and tossed a stack of papers around.

"Why couldn't I have been born a fighter? Then I could teach Verto a lesson for real! It's not fair I tell you!" Dende cried out as Popo attempted to comfort him.

"Well he's not from this world, you should've known that opening a doorway to another one just to bring a few of its people here wasn't going to go well. At least no one else got hurt," Popo reminded.

Dende pouted in place, "Next time it'll be something much stronger than that Mewtwo person. Speaking of which, what did King Yemma do with him?"

Popo shrugged, "He wasn't here for very long, but I would guess that he was sent to Hell."

**A/n: Yep, I'm doing that one too.**


	3. Hell

**I wish I owned DBZ, but I don't. I own DVD's and tapes, but it just isn't the same. Nor do I own any legal imprinting of whatever theme I'm using, such as a crossover with another anime, movie or TV series. Did I think it up? Yes. Was I the first to think it up? Probably not, but I digress. I also don't own the rights to any of the music pieces you see selected, just the merchandise, such a shame. The artists that created them are geniuses and we all must bow to them.**

**This is the promised sequel to Verto vs Pokemon. It may or may not pan out as you want or expect, but I quite literally thought up the script in about seven minutes.**

**Lost Chapter: Hell vs Mewtwo. Time frame: Saga 7**

The denizens of Hell were typically unruly by nature, even to each other. Today was no exception, but in this case some of the more powerful residents were fleeing from another that was quite a bit stronger. Ogres and dead spirits watched as a large Super Saiyan was wrecking havoc all over, going after one dead alien in particular.

"Protect me Ginyu Force!" Frieza called out as he tried to fly away from Broly. Broly laughed as he swatted Burter, Jeice and Recoome away with relative ease. Guldo chose the slightly wiser path by attacking at range with a telekinetically controlled tree. Unfortunately for him, the tree only succeeded in pulling Broly's attention. He unleashed one small but powerful green blast that arced towards the ground.

Guldo winced slightly and sucked in his breath, "Time Freeze!" He used the momentary stoppage to run as far as he could before he exhaled, prompting the detonation.

A large pair of legs phased in behind him, "You think that worthless trick will matter to me?"

Guldo turned in time to see Broly's boot make contact with his green head, punting him across the land at a frightening speed. Frieza finally stopped running and held out a single finger high in the air, charging a massive amount of energy into a ball. Broly smirked evilly as he watched the Death Ball form, not worried in the least. Frieza launched the Death Ball, only waiting long enough to see if it made contact before he fled again. Broly caught the mass of orange with one hand and flooded it with his energy, turning it green instead. He then tossed it back towards the fleeing Frieza, who looked back in horror. Before it could overwhelm him, a blue blast collided with the overcharged Death Ball from the side, sending it into the yellow clouds above. Broly scowled at the appearance of Cell, who floated there with his arms folded. Behind him were King Kold and Cooler, though they were none too eager to fight by the look of it.

"Frieza, what did I tell you about trying to antagonize the Saiyan Kingdom down here in Hell? You can't beat half the Saiyans that are there now as it is. Added to that, it's a just a very foolish idea because this guy might decide to come out and deal with you personally. And I really get tired of cleaning up your messes," Cell said with disdain.

"What does it matter, you can't beat him either!" Frieza claimed.

"Whether I can or can't doesn't matter, you're the fool who can't leave well enough alone. Once he gets going there's no stopping him," Cell reminded.

"Oh shut up and help me!" Frieza shouted back.

Broly snorted slightly, "Go ahead worms, stop me if you can! I'm going to squash every last one of you!"

Cell's golden aura came to life, "Now there's one overconfident Saiyan, almost as much as Vegeta was some time ago!"

Broly frowned and flew towards him, "Just for that, you go first." Cell held up his hands and opened them so that his wrists were as far apart as possible with his fingertips staying together, forming an uneven rectangle between his index fingers and thumbs.

"Tri-Beam!" Cell's immense blast shot out and overwhelmed the Super Saiyan, sending him flying into the distance and beyond. Cell lowered his hands cautiously before turning around and flying the other way.

"What are you doing you idiot? Go finish him off!" Frieza ordered.

"Since when do you order me around? That blast was about the only way to get rid of him, I doubt I'll be able to do it again. I suggest the rest of you flee before he decides to come back, unless you want to spend the next few months trying to recover," Cell suggested.

Frieza bit his lip slightly and conceded, "Fine. I miss the days where I was the strongest in the universe."

"That was for what, an hour before the Super Saiyan passed you?" Cooler laughed.

"You shut up!" Frieza retorted and stuck out his tongue. The Ginyu Force slowly pulled themselves off the ground and followed their leaders. Ahead of them, a figure approached in the air with its arms folded. The group stopped and faced off with the newcomer.

"What is that thing?" Cell asked first.

"Looks like Frieza's twin. Father, did you sneak off with a mistress?" Cooler joked.

Kold chuckled, "No son, I'm afraid this creature is as new to me as it is to you."

Frieza cracked his knuckles slightly, "Whatever the case, this one has chosen the wrong day to come here. Identify yourself!"

The pale creature turned to them with its oddly shaped head, "I am Mewtwo, the greatest being in existence! What is this place? The last thing I remember was fighting a child with extraordinary power."

"Which one? There seems to be an abundance of those these days," Cooler grumbled.

"He used an energy sword technique that I was unable to avoid," Mewtwo said.

"Verto," Cell, King Kold, Cooler and the Ginyu Force said all at once.

"What's a Verto?" Mewtwo asked.

Frieza had flashbacks of his guts being ripped out and shivered in fear for a moment, "That's a demon monkey from your worst nightmares."

Mewtwo wasn't quite sure what to make of this, "That might have been the child's name. I presume then that he defeated all of you before?"

Cell laughed, "Just one of us."

Frieza glared at him, "He beat you too! Remember we were fused for awhile!"

"And who was the weak link of that union?" Cell countered.

Mewtwo cleared his throat, or at least made the sound, "Ahem, which one of you can tell me where we are?"

"Figure it out you simpleton, you lost your life. You're in Hell," Cooler said simply.

Mewtwo's eyes widened as he glanced at the halos over the heads of the other villains before looking around, "Somehow I expected more."

"If you want more, I suggest you fly in that direction," Frieza pointed.

"What is over there?" Mewtwo asked.

Kold and Cooler struggled not to laugh while Frieza kept it to a minor grin, "Over there is more. So much more that you'll scarcely believe it."

Mewtwo turned his head slightly, "I sense nothing. I believe that you are trying to trick me into leaving so you can go about your business. I have no qualms with that, but I wish to fight you first to further test my abilities." The group erupted with tear-inducing laughter.

"Yeah right, what chance could you possibly have?" Frieza asked.

Recoome posed with pride, "Let me handle this one Lord Frieza!" A brief spark of energy came out of Mewtwo as he aimed his odd hand at Recoome. Recoome suddenly went flying into a nearby mountain, demolishing it as he fell through. Frieza looked impressed while the other members of the Ginyu Force cringed in fear.

"Boys, he took down your comrade. Go teach him a lesson," Frieza ordered. Jeice and Burter nodded towards each other and charged in to attack while Guldo stayed back. A red and blue tornado then cycled around Mewtwo as they flew around him at their top speeds. Mewtwo's power flared and they both went flying in opposite directions, landing hard in the barren dirt. Guldo didn't even bother trying to attack and took off running in the other direction.

Frieza folded his arms, "Well, it seems you're not too bad after all. I'll fight you newcomer, but be warned, I will not go easy on you!"

Mewtwo nodded, "I accept your challenge!" Blue and purple auras filled the lands of Hell while the other remaining villains backed away and gave them a fair amount of space. Frieza and Mewtwo charged at each other, engaging in a rapid display of punches and kicks, only managing to graze one another in the exchange. Frieza glided backwards and fired off his Death Beam with a grin. Mewtwo held out his palm and caught the blast, leaving a small blemish on his hand. He thrust out his palm and sent a telekinetic burst at Frieza, knocking him backwards. Frieza recovered and phased out, smashing Mewtwo across the face with his fist. Mewtwo responded by swatting Frieza away with his tail. Frieza turned and fired off another Death Beam. Mewtwo deflected the blast before drawing back his palms and concentrating a large burst of purple between them. Frieza's eyes widened and he held out his hand to counter-attack. Mewtwo fired his ball, which rapidly changed directions every few seconds as it arced towards Frieza. Frieza pulled his hand back and attempted to deflect the blast, only to have it explode at the point of impact. Frieza emerged covered in burns, which caused his family to start laughing.

"Shut up!" Frieza yelled at them.

"Are you sure you're the emperor of the universe little brother? This one looks like he's better than you!" Cooler laughed.

Kold chuckled as well, "My princess shouldn't be angry, it's quite unbecoming!"

Frieza shook his fist at them, "After I'm done with him, you're next!"

Mewtwo was unimpressed by this display and folded his arms, "Is that all there is to you and your friends?"

Cell phased in behind him, "I was hoping you'd say that." Mewtwo turned into a vicious punch from the android, sending him flying. He slowly recovered and flew back as his face showed a clear indention.

"You are strong, I will fight you instead," Mewtwo claimed. Frieza suddenly attacked from above, knocking Mewtwo towards the ground before following.

"How rude Cell, I wasn't finished yet!" Frieza grinned as he chased down the pokemon.

Cell waved it off, "By all means, continue." Frieza chased down Mewtwo, hammering his back with a double-arm smash and putting him down into the dirt. Mewtwo used his tail to trip Frieza and then spun to kick him away. Frieza blocked against the blow and quickly fired an orange burst of energy that surrounded Mewtwo, trapping him into a ball. Frieza laughed as he cradled the ball with his tail before smashing it into the air. Mewtwo was unable to do much before Frieza intercepted the ball and knocked it in a different direction. He phased out and reappeared in it's path to repeat the pattern a dozen more times. Mewtwo's eyes turned in circles as he became sore and dizzy from the pinball effects of the technique. Frieza laughed as he switched out of his attack and pounded the ball back into the ground. The ball exploded, covering Hell with bright light and high winds. Frieza chuckled as Mewtwo's body lay in the crater his attack left behind. Frieza landed there and reached down to finish off the pokemon when a large shadow suddenly covered both of them. Frieza looked up just in time to see what was happening and dodged to the side. Mewtwo's eyes opened long enough to see a huge boot slam down on his body.

The pokemon's body broke into a dozen pieces as Broly stood up in his Legendary Super Saiyan form, "What was that pathetic piece of scum supposed to be?"

Frieza cringed in surprise and quickly thought up a lie, "It was an invader. They're all just as strong as me and they were moving to attack the Saiyan Kingdom!"

Broly stared at Frieza for a moment and glanced back down at the remains of Mewtwo, "More like that? I doubt it. If anything resembling this waste of bones came near the city, we would probably eat it for dinner."

"I'm telling you, there was an army of them. So many of them that even the Super Saiyans will have trouble! Only your power will make a difference!" Frieza claimed.

Broly scowled and lifted off, "If you're lying, you will regret it." He then flew off into the distance, leaving all of the villains behind. Frieza held out his hand and fired a blast into Mewtwo's remaining corpse, vaporizing him on impact.

He then flew up to join his family, "Run, before he comes back!"

Cell shrugged slightly at all this before following his counterparts, "How dull, you got out of that one too easily."

"It's not my fault that brainless monkey fell for it. What was that thing I fought anyway?" Frieza asked.

"Probably something that got lost and ran into that kid by accident. Doesn't matter now though," Cooler replied.

"Ha, that monkey brat is nothing. Give me another crack at him and I'll show the rest of you slackers!" Frieza boasted.

"You know it'll happen when you least expect it and aren't prepared. He'll crush you again," Kold pointed out. A presence suddenly appeared in front of them, causing the group to stop in midair.

"It's the Supreme Kai," Cell noted.

Kibitoshin held out his hand, "Frieza, I need you to come with me. You're going with Verto on a special mission."

Frieza's already pale face drained of all blood, "…The fuck?"

**A/n: Shout out to the YYH crossover. For those that wanted a longer chapter, I considered it but I really didn't want to stay on this any longer than I felt necessary. It was a treat to make it this long. Abridged Saga 1 will be next.**


	4. DBVA 1-1: Lost in Spaces

**I wish I owned DBZ, but I don't. I own DVD's and tapes, but it just isn't the same. Nor do I own any legal imprinting of whatever theme I'm using, such as a crossover with another anime, movie or TV series. Did I think it up? Yes. Was I the first to think it up? Probably not, but I digress. I also don't own the rights to any of the music pieces you see selected, just the merchandise, such a shame. The artists that created them are geniuses and we all must bow to them.**

**Welcome to DBV Abridged. Yes, for my own fun and amusement, as well as inspiration from the lads from Teamfourstar, I've decided to write my own remake and 'abridged' parody version of DBV. Some things might be a little different or even skipped over, specifically the fact that it'll be in third person and much shorter, but don't dispute it too much, this is for laughs. Do ****NOT****, I repeat, do ****NOT**** read this if you haven't read all of DBV. That should go without saying with any lost chapter, but DBV-A is not spoiler proof at all. Also, if you have or have had an issue with my use of swearing, well I don't know why you're here reading this, because your bleeding eye syndrome is about to happen again. I expect someone out there may get offended by some of the content you see, and this is still quite toned down compared to what I could be unleashing. Either way, it is way over the top compared to what I usually do. You've been warned.**

**DBV Abridged Saga 1**

**Chapter 1: Lost in Spaces.**

In a small spaceship turned home, Future Trunks walked into the lab where their guest was resting on a table. Only he was much smaller than he had been when they had gone to bed. His hair had also changed to a spiky and slightly wild mess that stuck up on one side and down on the other.

Trunks held his head, "Oh hell. Mom, that weird chick with red hair did it to us again!"

Bulma slowly entered the room with a bathrobe on, "What's that, I'm half awake here."

"Leira left us with another kid!" Trunks exclaimed.

"Oh I always wanted another one! Too bad your father was shooting blanks before the androids killed him," Bulma muttered aloud.

Trunks' eyes widened, "Mom! I think you're missing the point here, he's supposed to be an adult!"

Bulma huffed slightly, "Well I'm sorry, I only gave him a sleeping pill like she told me too. It's not my fault what happens after that!"

The resting boy stirred and set up, "Wha? Why does the room look bigger, and what the hell happened to my clothes?!"

"Yeah that happens whenever you get your soul transferred to another body that was genetically designed to be Saiyan, human, demon and occasionally an asshole from time to time," Bulma explained.

The boy's eyebrow went up in pure confusion, "Huh?"

"Yeah, also, your new name is Verto, get used to it," Bulma added.

Verto's head turned slightly, "Who decided that?"

"This partially Saiyan chick with red hair that's a few fries short of a happy meal. She is the sister of your deceased ancestor who gave you crazy new powers that you'll probably kill yourself with if you don't learn how to use them quickly. Better get a move on, because this is like the tenth time it's happened and it's really starting to get old," Bulma said.

"What is this, I don't even…" Verto managed to say.

"Oh by the way, your home planet got blown the up. Everyone you know is dead," Bulma said nonchalantly.

Verto's eyes widened in shock, "WHAT?!"

"Mom! Too soon!" Trunks shouted at her.

Bulma shrugged, "Meh he's tough, he can handle it. I can't believe he didn't hear it. Frieza just looked at that planet and ended it. It was like when a nuclear bomb goes off only about a billion times bigger! Honestly, I think Frieza overdid it."

"Mom, seriously, you're not helping!" Trunks claimed.

Verto's eyes filled with tears for a moment before he stood up on top of the table, "If my home is gone, then I'm going to kick Frieza's ass. It might take a long time before I'm able to fight him, but with the right training and enough effort, I know I can do it!"

"Um, your clothes are still missing," Bulma pointed out.

Verto glanced down in horror, "Ahhhhh!"

"It's okay, someday maybe you can make your own," Trunks said.

"Really?" Verto asked.

"No, somebody thinks it's too overpowered," Bulma replied.

"God damn it," Verto said as he sat down and folded his arms.

Bulma put a finger to her chin, "You know, I don't think your Earth had a Kami so there isn't anyone to curse about." Verto stared at her, slightly stunned before the alarms in the ship suddenly went off and the lights flashed red, causing all three to look up.

"What the hell is going on?" Verto asked.

"I think that means we're under attack," Bulma said as the finger on her chin hadn't moved.

Verto glanced at her with a much meaner expression, "No kidding, damn I wasn't sure. I thought it was the flashing red lights saying, 'oh look at me, I'm flashing, maybe something is wrong!' Ugh, any clue as to who might be attacking us and how to repel them?"

"It's probably Frieza again, he likes to chase after Trunks for some reason," Bulma said.

Verto turned to Trunks, "But aren't you like a hundred times stronger than him at this point?"

Trunks shook his head, "Strength doesn't matter. The only way I can kill Frieza is with my sword. And since it's not in the mood, I can't kill him."

Verto's jaw slipped open, "The sword has to be in the mood?" Trunks pulled his sword from out of nowhere and there was clearly a sticky note attached to the side that said 'Not in the mood'.

Verto slapped the side of his face, "Save me, somebody."

"Oh it's fine, we're gonna send you to be with my father and younger self," Trunks said as his sword was suddenly gone.

The ship violently shook, prompting a little more panic from Verto, "Okay, can we go, like now? You know, before we're obliterated?"

Trunks nodded, "This way." Verto hopped off the table, but quickly realized that he still didn't have clothes. He spotted a new all blue outfit that was conveniently set out for him with a note on top.

He removed the note and read over it briefly, 'Since bad luck will follow you everywhere from now on, here's a free set of clothes for your trouble'. Verto blinked sharply at this before he disregarded it and put the clothes on before Trunks even reached the door. As it slid open, Trunks was carefully looking around the corner.

"Be careful, you never know where those cold, heartless machines are," Trunks claimed as he stepped through.

Verto was right behind him, "What, Frieza's soldiers?"

"No, the androids of course! They like to play these crazy games of hide and seek. Keep your voice down!" Trunks rasped at him.

"Didn't you already kill the androids where you come from?" Verto asked in confusion.

Trunks shook his head slightly as if trying to get something out, "Sorry, I occasionally have flashbacks. Mom says it's post-traumatic stress disorder. I would take the medication for it but my metabolism is so high that it only works for about three minutes. Oh watch out for the door, it closes kind of fast, you don't want it to catch your..." The door promptly slid shut on Verto's tail causing him to scream out in pain. The door opened again enough for him to pull the tail out of place before it closed again, whereas Verto held his new appendage, blowing on it as if it were on fire.

"Owww! Not gonna lie, I could've used a little more warning!" Verto claimed as he recovered.

"Sorry about that. We're almost to the time machine, then you can go back in time and warn Goku about the androids," Trunks whispered as he crept forward.

"Trunks, you're doing it again," Verto said.

"Oh right, I completely forgot that I already did that for a moment there. Okay, come on, we have to move slow since the androids might be around."

Verto grimaced, "Fine, whatever. Let's just go." They came up to the time machine's room a minute later and Trunks hurried over to it. The door on the side of the room suddenly blew open as a few Kold Empire soldiers poured through. Trunks jumped down, grabbed Verto and threw him up into the time machine before gliding out, pressing the button on the console as he did. Verto landed awkwardly and scrambled to sit up just as the roof of it closed. He got up in time to see Trunks pull his sword out, again from out of nowhere.

Trunks was about to fight with it when he saw the note stuck to the side, 'Still not in the mood.'

Trunks threw it to the side, "I want a divorce!" The view flashed brightly and Verto found himself traveling down a tunnel of randomly colored light.

"Well at least I got away from that craziness. Maybe from now on things will be a little more consistent and normal," Verto told himself aloud. The tunnel of light flashed once more and the time machine suddenly fell out of the sky. It tumbled just right for him to see what looked like Kami's Lookout below him, and the capsule was heading straight for it. On the lookout, Mister Popo was watering flowers when he noticed the life form coming towards him.

Verto piped up slightly and opened the canopy to shout, "Hey Popo, make your magic carpet catch me or something! Hurry before I crash!"

"Oh look, another maggot. Bye bye!" Popo waved. The time capsule was suddenly shoved out of the air by an invisible force and fell towards the clouds.

"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt!" Verto cried out as the machine spun out of control. It fell out of the clouds and straight down onto a large, round building, hitting it on the side and smashing through the roof. The machine managed to go through several floors before it fell through into a room with a red floor with plain metal walls all around and a heavy door to the outside. The top of the time capsule had completely shattered, enabling Verto to crawl out and brush himself off a bit.

"Guess this Saiyan thing isn't too bad if I can survive all that. Now where am I?" he asked.

The door promptly started to open, "That noise better not have wrecked my gravity room! If it's even scratched on the inside, whoever did it will wish they had never been born!"

Verto's eyes widened, "Shit, that voice, it could only be…"

The door opened fully to reveal Vegeta with his arms folded, "Oh look, another butler. Why didn't you use the damn door like everyone else? I don't care how good your blasted resume is, that is not going to buy you a pass to just move in. And what are you doing in…is that a hole in my ceiling?"

Verto glanced up in horror, "Crap."

* * *

Vegeta's eyes scrolled over a note that was found in the time capsule, "…so please watch over and take care of him blah blah blah. What a wonderful son I never had."

Verto was laying imbedded in a wall, struggling to move after having been thrown there, "Are you sure it's the son's fault?"

"Well if you had landed in a reasonable place maybe you could've explained things the normal way," Vegeta argued.

"I was thrown off the lookout and I don't even know how to fly the damn thing, what was I supposed to do? Is it my fault that you weren't patient enough to listen to reason before you made me part of the wall?" Verto countered as he slowly climbed out.

"Oh shut up, you're a Saiyan, you can handle a few bruises. Now sit still while I use this thing," Vegeta claimed as he put on a scouter over his eye. It scanned Verto before stopping on a four digit number.

"Two?! Ha, you can't be serious. How could it be this low and you survived that throw? Oh wait it's upside down. Five thousand or almost four point two Raditz. Not bad, report to me tomorrow morning to start your training," Vegeta ordered.

"Okay, wait what?"

"Old power levels started growing into absurd numbers that didn't make any sense, so we measure them in Raditz now. Hopefully in a few years they'll stop adding the old reading in for people who don't know how to do the conversion. Honestly it's like that annoying thing they do with an instruction manual, putting it in a language that no one uses anymore."

"…Right. What should I do until then?" Verto asked as he glanced around.

Vegeta shrugged, "Meh, I dunno. Maybe carry the bags and the food trays."

"I'm not a butler," Verto grumbled.

Vegeta turned to his left for a moment, "God damn it Nappa, shut up! I don't care what you did at the Bloody Pond yesterday!"

Verto's eyebrow went up, "Okay, I'll be leaving now."

Vegeta turned back momentarily, "No, otherwise the woman might think you're a burglar and pull a gun on you or something. Come with me."

Verto followed him out of the gravity room, "Wouldn't the bullets just bounce off at this point?"

"Or she'd shoot out every window and light in the place. Seriously, she's the worst shot I've ever seen," Vegeta claimed.

Verto's eyes were almost glued wide open at this point, _Okay, where the hell am I?_ Just as they were approaching the main lobby, there was a knock on the door. Vegeta opened it to see a man in a flashy suit bow to him slightly.

"Good afternoon sir, I'm here for the butler job…"

"Filled, thanks, bye," Vegeta said as he slammed the door in the man's face.

As he was walking away, Verto kept back, shaking his head slightly, _This is got to be some sort of crazy alternate world or something._ _Oh well, might as well run with it. Not like I can consider myself normal anyway._

"Woman, I brought you a present," Vegeta declared as he entered a small office.

"What is it, another dead robot to fix?" Bulma muttered. When Verto stepped in she gave him a quick look over, "Okay, what the hell have you been doing late at night? Is this revenge on me for not fixing the gravity room for three months?"

Vegeta rolled his eyes slightly, "Read the note first."

Bulma took the note and quickly went through it, "Let's see, transformed into a Saiyan, has no home left, might make a good butler, watch over and take care of him, okay. I guess I can live with that, since Trunks needs a babysitter."

"A babysitter, really?" Verto groaned.

"Ever tried to watch over an adolescent Saiyan or two, it's not an easy job. Not a job for a normal butler, but you should do alright. Hope your training goes well," Bulma said as she turned and began working on something.

"Alright, well that's done, I need to go up to the lookout for a moment," Vegeta said as he walked out.

"Wait, for what?" Verto asked as he followed.

"To negotiate with the Namek for making noise, and with the genie for making room on the pecking order," Vegeta called back before leaving. As Verto had stepped out for that brief moment, the door shut behind him, catching his tail.

"Owww! What the hell?!" he shouted at the door.

Bulma opened it and glanced down to see Verto glaring back painfully, "Huh, I completely forgot about the Anti-Tail Door."

Verto's face fell, "The what?"

"It's a door I designed to automatically close if a Saiyan tail passes through and lingers behind it. It was designed for Trunks to keep him out of certain areas but it was such a pain because people just left doors open all the time and I eventually had to remove his tail due to excessive crying," Bulma claimed.

Verto's jaw fell open again, "You can't be serious. Wouldn't it be smarter to just take that little enhancement that out of the door?"

"Yeah, I never really thought about that. I have this problem with inventing a bunch of things and never using them again after their initial purpose is cleared up. And after we took away the tail, Trunks learned how to open a closed door anyway so it became useless. At least I know it still works," she said with a slight smile.

Verto stepped away cautiously, "Shoot me, shoot me now."

A loud and distinct clicking sound went off as Bulma aimed a shotgun at him, "Okay, hold still!" Verto dodged to the left just as she fired, hitting the wall on the other side somehow, nowhere near him.

"What the hell?!" Verto shouted again as he glanced at the crumbling wall tile falling to the ground.

"You said to shoot you, I figured it was a request. Can you stay still this time so I can check the sights on this thing? I think Trunks was messing around with it again," Bulma said as she looked her gun over.

Verto bit his lip and calmly walked away, "I'll just sit up by the door, in case somebody knocks on the door or something normal happens."

"Normal? Hahaha, that's a good one," Bulma laughed as she ducked back into her office. Just as Verto got to the front lobby and sat down on the couch provided, the door suddenly blew open. A small, lavender and blue tornado moved into the room, followed swiftly by an orange and black one. They spun about the room a bit, knocking things over before coming to Verto and stopping. The spinning eventually stopped as a younger Trunks and Goten appeared.

"Who are you, and why are you in my house?" Trunks demanded.

"Is he part monkey? I want one!" Goten claimed happily as he spotted the tail.

"Oh a Saiyan tail, sorry didn't see that right away, I thought you were a burglar or something. You can be the new butler," Trunks said.

"Okay, hold on. You're the third one I've heard that from, what is with this butler crap?" Verto asked.

"Oh you haven't been prepared yet. Dad better train you first. C'mon Goten, I saw that cat across the street start to get brave again. It's been about eight hours since we caught him trying to cross the street again! Remember what happened to the newspaper!" Trunks reminded him.

Goten saluted him, "Never forget, never surrender! We'll teach that cat a lesson he'll never forget! Never, ever, leave the litter box!" The two suddenly transformed into two tornadoes again and spun their way out of the room as the door slammed shut again.

Verto rubbed the side of his head, _If I make it through today, I think I might actually take up religion._ The door opened again a second later, though was quickly filled in by a familiar looking Namekian with a turban and cape.

"So, you're a little smaller than I expected, that's unfortunate. Vegeta mentioned you would need to be trained," Piccolo said.

"I think I need a transfer elsewhere just to stay sane. What is up with everyone around here?" Verto asked.

Piccolo's eyes narrowed, "How long have you been here?"

"I dunno, maybe about a half-hour."

"That explains it, you haven't fallen under the spell yet, or at least it appears that way," Piccolo said as he walked in and closed the door behind him.

"The spell?" Verto asked in confusion.

"You've landed on Dragon Ball World Number Popo, and everyone is changed by 'the spell' within a day of being here," Piccolo explained.

Verto's eyebrow went up again, "Can you…repeat that?"

"Yeah, I know it's hard to understand. This place is just like the regular Dragon Ball world, except Popo sets all the rules and then watches what happens. People sound and act a little differently than they would usually be, but overall it's the same place. Same monsters attack, same guys fight, same guys die and get wished back, blah blah blah. 'The spell' doesn't trigger until he feels like doing it, but it's usually within a day. To be honest, you'll be lucky if he turns you into a rat or something," Piccolo explained further.

"I'll keep that in mind," Verto said, unsure of how to respond.

"Well come on, might as well get it over with," Piccolo said as he beckoned Verto towards the door.

"Get what over with, this weird spell crap that makes me do whatever Popo says?" Verto asked in a slight panic.

"Actually I was going to say your training, but yeah that too. It turns out he was leaving to take a trip to some space spa for the night so the time chamber room is available. Better to get it out of the way so you can adjust to whatever he makes you do. Also, Nail is bugging me to check Facebook and my internet connection down here sucks," Piccolo said.

Verto gave in, "Let's just go."

* * *

Piccolo flew Verto up to the lookout, which was surprisingly vacant aside from Vegeta standing there waiting in the darkening early evening.

"About time, the genie just left so hurry it up," Vegeta yelled up at them.

"So we're going to do this right now? I thought you said tomorrow?" Verto asked in surprise.

"I'm not patient enough for that. Besides, it's about as clear a window as we'll get. I managed to get you a spot on the roster below Goten but above Krillin," Vegeta claimed.

"Roster? Oh right that pecking order thing, whatever I guess. Just out of curiosity, how high up is that?" Verto asked.

"About fifth…"

Verto sighed with relief, "Oh that isn't too bad."

"…From the bottom."

"Crap."

"It's not that bad, you're still above the 'constantly useless line'. If you do well then you might go up a few ranks," Vegeta said, hardly with reassurance.

"We won't know till he finishes, now go walk through that door," Piccolo said as he pointed to the right. Verto looked in that direction before merely shrugging and walking forward. When he stepped through, he found himself staring at Vegeta and Piccolo back the way he had come, only it was midday again. He was vaguely aware that something had happened but wasn't sure what.

"Wait, what just happened?" Verto asked.

"You just went through eight months of training in about three fourths of a second, it's the next day already," Vegeta replied.

Verto glanced down to see his clothes were slightly torn up, "How did it go that fast? I thought a year in there equaled a day outside, not less."

"Yeah but we like to go fast so we put it on speed mode. You now know how to fly, use the Galic Gun, the Final Flash, the Special Beam Cannon, the Masenko Blast and several other underused moves," Piccolo explained.

"And you can turn Super Saiyan or into an miniature-Oozaru. Went up a full two ranks on the pecking order even past my son," Vegeta added with a hint of pride.

"Wait, doesn't that bother you?" Verto asked.

"Pffft no, higher ranking means you're even more likely to die, but at least the death has a higher chance of having meaning."

"Wonderful. But I don't see the point of your speed mode setting if I can't remember anything," Verto claimed.

Vegeta folded his arms, "Oh really, how about you take a free shot at me now then! For practice."

"What a great idea, don't you remember what happened the first time? I just about blew your head off when I…" Verto stopped in realization.

"What is it?" Piccolo asked.

"I think it's coming back to him now," Vegeta chuckled.

"How did I know that? Unless…oh my god I'm a native," Verto said in horror.

"It happens, let's go," Vegeta said.

"Wait, so what's my power level now?" Verto asked.

"Normal or maximum?"

"Uh, maximum works."

"As a Super Saiyan, fifty-eight thousand three hundred thirty-three and a third Raditz," Vegeta replied without even a look.

"That seemed oddly specific, why the third?" Verto pointed out.

"Everyone wants exact figures nowadays, otherwise their estimates are almost always wrong. Anyways, I'm good at the conversions. Had plenty of practice trying to compare my power level to someone else's," Vegeta claimed right before he flew off the lookout.

"I get the feeling that I'm strangely used to this already," Verto muttered.

"Quick adaptation is the key to survival. It's either that or you become a flower pot. And not gonna lie, that's not something I recommend when you consider who waters those around here," Piccolo hinted.

Verto glanced back at the time chamber entrance, "I'm gathering that as the minutes go by."

Out of nowhere, Mister Popo appeared, "Hi maggots. How's the new scum doing? Hope you like your new Hell."

Verto looked at him, "You know, why hasn't anyone just tried to kill you yet and put an end to all this?"

Popo laughed, "Oh believe me, they tried. Tried."

"Yeah he has this annoying habit of just throwing anyone off the lookout at anytime no matter how strong they are. One time someone had the nerve to smash all his flower pots. They never found the body," Piccolo warned ominously.

"Oh don't be silly Kami, they found the body…" Popo started to say.

"But…" Piccolo added.

"But then they dropped dead and joined it," Popo finished with an evil smile.

Verto was confused, but not about the subject, "You called him Kami, isn't he just Piccolo now?"

Popo shrugged, "Meh, Piccolo, Nail, Kami, they're all the same worthless maggots to me. I've got more important things to do with my time."

"Okay never mind, so what do I get to put up with?" Verto asked.

Popo turned his head, "Pardon?"

Verto bit his lip in frustration, "Whatever this spell thing is."

"Oh that. I've cursed you with being completely yourself and aware of everything that is going on along with having to put up with everyone's issues, all of which will probably seem very strange to you…" Popo trailed off.

Verto blinked sharply, "How is that different than what I already deal with?"

Popo continued quickly, "…With the added affect that every time you make a speech something will go wrong and completely ruin the point. And when I say completely yourself, I mean you won't hold back with anything you say, since you like to 'speak your mind'. Also, your tail will get smashed by something every ten minutes."

Verto's face fell, "Fuck." A flower pot promptly smashed into his side, hitting the tail that was wrapped up. "OW! What the hell was that for?"

"Ten minutes was up," Popo reminded.

"…Can I trade for something else?" Verto requested.

"Yes, I just opened a position for a foot rat. Your duties would involve massaging my feet once a day and then whatever you want afterwards," Popo said.

Verto looked nearly interested, "Oh that doesn't sound that bad."

"Just give it a second," Piccolo reminded.

"I prefer my foot rubbings to be done after I walk through mounds of manure, and with the tongue," Popo claimed.

"Tail beatings incoming, I'm out!" Verto called back as he flew off the lookout.

"Too bad, all he had to do is lose the tail and that part is undone! At the very least this should amuse me," Popo said once Verto was out of hearing range.

"Was that really necessary?" Piccolo asked as he folded his arms.

"You're right Kami, I'll make the tail beatings once per day instead. And I'll give him another day to adjust. After all, your fellow maggots have almost driven Dende to suicide, wouldn't want to see another source of entertainment go to waste," Popo offered.

Piccolo scowled and folded his arms, "In exchange for what?"

"Oh that bitch is dying at least twice!"


	5. DBVA 1-2: Who Are These People?

**I wish I owned DBZ, but I don't. I own DVD's and tapes, but it just isn't the same. Nor do I own any legal imprinting of whatever theme I'm using, such as a crossover with another anime, movie or TV series. Did I think it up? Yes. Was I the first to think it up? Probably not, but I digress. I also don't own the rights to any of the music pieces you see selected, just the merchandise, such a shame. The artists that created them are geniuses and we all must bow to them.**

**DBV-A Chapter 2: Who Are These People?**

When Verto returned to Capsule Corp, he found that most of the Z gang was there to greet him, though one in particular was waiting at the door. Yamcha cowered away when Vegeta walked through, stumbling backwards and falling.

"Oh look, it wants a job," Vegeta said.

"No, I just uh, wanted to see our new arrival," Yamcha claimed.

"You've seen him, move along," Vegeta retorted.

"Sometimes I wonder why I didn't just stay dead…" Yamcha trailed off as he looked away for a moment. Verto's eyebrow hit the air in confusion but he said nothing to it.

"The scrub there is a delta-male that used to chase my woman around, reminds me of Raditz," Vegeta said as glared down at Yamcha.

"Isn't it supposed to be beta-male?" Verto asked.

"Beta-male implies that I acknowledge its existence," Vegeta replied.

Yamcha looked worried when Verto stared at him, "Oh god, another one. I'll never get to the semi-finals again! Hell I'll never be needed on the battlefield again! Wait, I'll never be needed on the battlefield again…" Yamcha leapt to his feet and dashed across the room to shake Verto's hand, "Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!" He promptly ran out the door hooting and hollering for anyone that could hear.

"What's his deal?" Verto asked.

Vegeta snorted, "Like I said, a scrub." Bulma then skipped into the room with a bowl of food, prompting Verto's stomach to growl hello.

"Why hello there my son! Are you hungry, I've got plenty of food prepared in the other room," she hinted.

Verto's questioning eyebrow hit the air again, "Son? Did I miss something?"

"Well obviously you need a family, so we adopted you. You can call me Mom from now on! Here, I made cheesy potatoes!"

Verto's eyes went wide as a hint of drool flowed out of his mouth, "Cheesy potatoes? How did you know?"

Bulma smiled, "Mother's intuition." She offered the bowl, but Vegeta put a warning arm out in front of Verto before he could move.

"Trap!" he whispered.

Verto cast an eye up at him for a moment, "Okay, what's in the potatoes?"

"Damn it Vegeta, I almost had him!" Bulma shouted angrily before stomping away.

"Don't ever try it again woman!" Vegeta growled.

"What was that all about?" Verto asked.

"She was likely trying to feed you some sort of drug or device to get you to do or agree to anything. She is a very clever demon in disguise," Vegeta briefly explained.

"Does she do that often?" Verto asked in alarm.

"How do you think Trunks was born?"

"Okay, point taken." When they turned the corner, they spotted a small child with blonde pigtails being chased by the slowly aging Master Roshi, who looked too drunk to be walking.

"Give me back my Vicadin! Grandpa needs that! Those damn shells are heavy!" Roshi declared as he stumbled past.

"I don't have it old geezer!" Marron called back.

"Well I have to blame somebody!"

Vegeta moved on unabated while Verto just shook his head in disbelief, _I wonder what doesn't pass for normal around here._

Just as the words passed through his head, Krillin went flying out of the room ahead, "Ow, what did I do?!"

The irritated voice of his wife, Android Eighteen quickly followed, "When I say watch the baby, you watch the baby! You're letting that drunk coot chase her around again, last time CPS showed up!"

"It's not my fault, you're the one that called the police on him!" Krillin claimed.

"Well he is a registered sex offender! Just ask Bulma about that! It's bad enough that he's out walking around," Eighteen countered.

"So why not just move out?" Verto interjected.

Krillin sighed, "We can't, it would be contrary to what we're supposed to do. People might read about this and that would break the fourth wall!"

Verto shook his head again as Krillin ran after Roshi, _Yeah, that sounds about right at this rate._

Conveniently enough, Eighteen had already come to the door and offered a sly smile as she looked down, "Why hello, I'm the super strong hot chick that every guy wants but won't get. So they settle for Photoshop."

Verto bit his lip as he attempt to focus on her eyes, which wasn't the easiest thing to do at the moment because of height, "Really? I can't imagine why."

"Also, totally a robot. Was on the cover of Cyborg's Digest five times in a row! Then I got pregnant and they stopped calling, the nerve!" Eighteen said, folding her arms and jerking her head slightly.

"I thought they stopped calling after you blew up the agency? You know, after they claimed you had rusted and had started to sag," Vegeta snickered.

"You're just jealous that Cell wanted me and not you," Eighteen declared.

Vegeta blinked sharply, "What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You tell me, you're the one with the pink shirts," Eighteen grinned as she slowly stepped away with her hips swaying slightly.

"Argh! That was a one time deal, and you weren't even around for that!" Vegeta growled. Verto slipped by the Saiyan prince and entered the general living room while Vegeta continued giving Eighteen his trademark death glare. On the far side was the Son family and Trunks. Verto stared slightly as he saw Gohan hovered over a book, writing furiously while his mother Chichi snapped a whip just behind his head. The younger brother and apparent clone of his father, Goten, was eating along with Trunks, who was the first among them to notice Verto had returned.

"Sweet, the butler survived. Here, take this plate!" Trunks ordered.

Verto groaned, "Seriously, not a butler."

"Well then what good are you? Fine I'll let that one go, but I want a fresh towel ready at all times when I'm training or fighting and a butler is supposed to do that! It's not like you're gonna do any of the fighting when a super strong bad guy comes around!" Trunks claimed.

"If you want a towel, go find a closet," Verto suggested rudely.

Trunks stood up fast, "Oh yeah? Well how about I beat some obedience into you?"

Verto shifted his feet just slightly and smirked, "Go ahead and try."

Vegeta stepped in between the two almost at once, "Not here. Save it for the gravity room."

Trunks grinned and folded his arms in victory, "Ha, you're lucky my Dad stepped in. That would've been messy."

Vegeta glanced at him, "He passed you on the pecking order."

Trunks' eyes shot open, "No way! How could that be possible?"

Vegeta shrugged, "I dunno, he's probably the descendent of a Saiyan legend that I'll neglect to mention until it matters."

Trunks looked ready to cry, "But, that's cheating!"

"The pecking order rules still apply Trunks, find another way to beat him," Vegeta reminded.

"The pecking order has rules?" Verto asked with confusion.

"Someone get this kid a manual!" Vegeta shouted, though no one answered and he walked off and stood next to the wall. Trunks remained a few feet away, thinking hard about something.

"Okay, what's better? Rock, paper or scissors?" Trunks asked. Verto's eyebrows both went up for a moment, prompting Trunks to chuckle, "You don't know do you? Haha, I win!"

"Dynamite," Verto answered simply and stepped past, leaving a flabbergasted Trunks in his wake.

"But, that's not one of the answers!" Trunks proclaimed.

Verto glanced back at him, "Who said I had to play by your rules?"

"Mom, can I use the Dragon Radar and rewind time back a day?" Trunks called out.

Bulma magically appeared in the doorway, "Why would you want to do that?"

"Because he cheated and got ahead in the pecking order! I want to be able to boss him around!" Trunks whined slightly.

Bulma shook her head slightly, "Sorry Trunks, but the Dragon Balls are stone for at least another few months. Remember that Piccolo wished for the Hyperbolic Time Chamber's limits to be removed?"

"Damn it! You are so lucky that you jumped ahead. But I'll pass you again, you'll see!" Trunks declared before running off with Goten in tow.

Bulma watched him go, "Well, you motivated him better than I've been able to so far."

"For about three days," Vegeta added.

"Okay, whatever on that. But when did that ever happen? The wish for the time chamber? I mean it makes sense and it's rather convenient, but still," Verto pointed out.

"You ever deal with two extra voices in your head? You'd want some extra time to yourself too," Bulma replied.

"But wouldn't that defeat the purpose? It's not like he could go anywhere to get away from it," Verto countered.

"I know right? I'm sure if he asked me I could invent something to shut them out for awhile. Then he could at least sleep," Bulma said.

"Why bother? My fist would do the job just fine," Vegeta laughed.

Bulma put a finger to her chin, "Yeah but by the time Piccolo even gets to a battle you'd be beaten senseless."

"Why you!" Vegeta growled at her.

Verto blinked, "Wait, what did that have to do with it?"

Bulma suddenly spun around and pointed towards a window, "Hey look a squirrel!"

Verto put his hands up and backed up a step, "Okay, not even touching that one." He dared turn to the last few people he had not spoken to yet, Chichi and Gohan, who had just put his book down and was looking towards his mother for something.

"Gohan, rounded off to the nearest hundredth, the square root of ten?" Chichi asked.

"Three point one six!" Gohan recited.

"How many times can the Dragon Balls bring you back to life on Earth?"

"Once!"

"What did King Piccolo wish for when he first came back?"

"Damn…oh his youth!"

"Correct, what is eighty-one squared?"

"Six thousand five hundred and sixty one!"

"How do you feel?"

Gohan froze at the question, "Ummm."

Chichi scowled, "There you go again, how do you expect to pass the high school entry exams if you seize up like that? And forget about getting into the Vulcan Science Academy!"

"To be honest I'm feeling like a lot of this knowledge you're drilling into my head won't even be on any tests until my college days. This is likely a result of your continued efforts to make me study twenty hours a day with only one break for food. My social life has probably suffered to a point where I can't even speak to anyone outside you and Dad's group, one that you constantly turn away because you're too afraid and insecure to acknowledge that their silly behavior is actually a benefit. This will likely lead to an eventual outcome of you not being able to function without screaming for medication and Goten will fall behind on his own grades because you only focused on mine. And as much as you want to blame things on Dad, you can't because he gave up his life so you could be an overbearing mother hen, obsessed with how your son will have to send you money. Well, you're wrong mother, you can be a fighter and a bookworm at the same time. I'll show you!" Gohan declared.

Chichi cracked the whip again near Gohan's head, "You take that back! I only make you study for eighteen hours now!"

"So that's where she draws the line?" Verto chuckled.

"Excuse me but I think you're too young to judge how anyone raises their children. After all, these karate bums don't do anything else unless there's a crises. And since there are no more villains around, there's no need for such delinquent behavior! It's bad enough he can dye his hair at will!" Chichi claimed.

"Okay, first of all I wasn't judging. Second, I didn't realize that exercise was considered delinquent behavior. So what do you consider armed robbery or murder?" Verto asked.

"Police work."

"And if the police can't handle it?"

Chichi folded her arms, "Then it's a standoff until the SWAT teams or specially trained forces go in."

"And wouldn't we then fall under the category of 'specially trained forces?' Or am I being to presumptuous?" Verto asked with just the slightest smirk.

Chichi turned red in the face, "Watch your tone with me young man! Otherwise I'll have you buried in studies too!" She then stormed off, nearly trampling over Roshi when he came back into the room.

"Wow, I've never seen anyone outwit my mother before. Please show me how," Gohan pleaded.

"It's not hard, I know you're smart enough to figure that out eventually. You just have to stand up to them long enough until they get emotional and give up. Twisting their words or throwing facts back at them helps. They won't ever admit that they are wrong though, and there's usually a guilt trip that follows. That's the trap you want to be careful about falling into," Verto stated.

"Are we still talking about my mother?" Gohan asked.

Verto snorted, "No, I meant women in general."

Gohan looked worried, "But they can't all be like that, right? Surely there must be a few good ones. I don't want to marry one and then go through all the verbal abuse my father had."

Verto blinked sharply once again, "…Well don't count on the first bite when you cast out your line into the gene pool. Who knows what you might catch."

Gohan nodded, "Okay, I get it. I'm looking for the really big fish, aren't I?"

Verto froze, "I think you completely missed that one, what I was trying to say was…"

"Gohan! I need you to help me with something!" Chichi called out from the hallway.

Verto coughed slightly, "Trap!"

"Okay, I'm coming! Hey thanks for the advice, I'll let you know how it works out," Gohan said as he quickly left the room. There were raised voices that followed before a sharp slapping sound filled the air.

Verto stood still and wide-eyed, _Wow, I don't even know where to start with this. Seriously Popo, what the hell?_

Bulma and Vegeta suddenly came towards him again, "Boy, your babysitting duties start tomorrow, and I don't want either of you within miles of this place. Me and the woman want some personal time."

Bulma looked at him slyly, "We can always throw them out tonight. It's not like they can't find a place to stay."

Vegeta pulled out a large stack of paper from his back and read over it briefly before he threw it aside, "No woman, tomorrow. We have to follow the script! Now get back to the kitchen and cook something!"

Bulma looked over at a table that was littered with food, "Oh look at that, a man with selective vision."

Vegeta bared his teeth, "Oh look at that, a woman that doesn't know any better!"

Bulma pulled out a remote control, "Oh look at that, a gravity room control switch. Should I turn on the one that says bomb?"

Vegeta growled and stomped away, "I'm going to bed, get all these weaklings out of my house!"

Bulma held up two fingers in victory, "Yep, I'm the best!"

Verto shook his head slightly, "Remind me to never let you trap me into something."

"Okay, never let me trap you into something. Your room is all prepared, just don't stay up too late," Bulma replied before walking away.

Verto bit his lip slightly, _Even though I'm not tired, I think I need the sleep just to regain some of my sanity._

* * *

Verto's first real night was spent reliving his training, only much, much slower in the land of dreams. He was rudely awakened by a sudden explosion the next morning, one that happened to take out his bed. He was up quickly to fight against whatever had done it, only to see Trunks with a smoking palm held out.

"When I say get up, you get up! You're supposed to have my towels ready 'cause I take my baths early. Next time I won't hold back!" Trunks declared.

"Oh you're so dead," Verto growled in a very low tone.

"Haha, whatever! As long as my Dad is around, you can't touch me!" Trunks claimed as he walked off. Verto contemplated chasing after him to retaliate, but didn't on account that his night clothes had been severely shredded. He shook his head slightly in frustration as he changed.

He was barely done when Vegeta appeared in the doorway, "Oh good, you're up. You might want to get a move on, Trunks has already switched the traffic lights around and caused a number of idiots to crash into each other."

"So why don't you be a parent a stop him?" Verto blurted out without thinking.

Vegeta merely grinned, "Because it amuses me. As long as they go away by the time I take care of my business for the day."

Verto grimaced, "You do realize that a series of car crashes don't just clean themselves up. They tend to take awhile."

Vegeta's grin remained, "Oh I think they know better by now. If they don't disappear in sixty seconds, then I'll make them!"

Verto knew exactly what he meant and didn't reply, _That's about as normal an answer as I would expect from him._

"Vegeta! I've been ready for awhile now! Tell the babysitter to take Trunks to the park or something!" Bulma called out from down the hall.

"Seriously, you didn't train me to be a babysitter," Verto grumbled.

"Well there's no enemy to fight so you might as well be useful in some way. Now get out, I need to go try to make another brat," Vegeta trailed off as he left. Verto shook his head again and headed down the stairs, where Trunks was busy watching cars pile up and honk at each other.

"About time! I'm missing out on quality time with Goten!" Trunks claimed.

"You mean time causing chaos among the normal people?" Verto pointed out.

"Yeah that."

Verto smacked his own head slightly, "Let's just go before something blows up."

Trunks looked thoughtful, "Oh we're still about two seconds away from…" A rather sudden blast went off in front of them in the street, sending several flaming cars flying and multiple people scrambling.

"GO AWAY OR I'LL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!" Vegeta roared from a window above.

"There we go," Trunks grinned.

Verto glanced up as the black widow's peak disappeared inside again, "He wasn't kidding about the sixty seconds part."

Trunks' grin didn't fade, "Every time Dad and Mom are doing their thing, something happens that breaks his concentration. I guess it must have been all the car horns." Trunks then took off into the air while Verto stared at the large crater in the otherwise smooth concrete.

He sighed slightly before following, _Sadly, I think I'm getting used to this._

* * *

Upon reaching the Son household, both Verto and Trunks heard a loud, but low toned howl that sounded like a beast growling at its prey. Gohan and Goten quickly ran from the house before several pots and pans followed them out of the door. They avoided the attack by flying upwards and out of range, though they didn't stop until their house was a spec on the map.

Verto quickly flew up to meet them, "What was all that about?"

Goten looked petrified, "She said she was going to murder a bunny!"

"That sounds a bit…extreme, I guess," Verto said slowly.

Gohan grimaced, "I told her not to get so angry about misspelled words. Especially when she's having me do lines when I'm barely awake to begin with."

Verto's jaw slipped just slightly, "She has you do lines when you're asleep?"

"Something like that. It all started when she subscribed to that damned magazine that sends experimental education ideas in the mail. First one was some stupid 'Learn while you sleep' bed. All that did was give me a bunch of other voices in my head," Gohan said with disdain.

"That's a bit much," Verto said, unsure of how to answer.

Gohan nodded, "Tell me about it! A year after Goten was born she tried to install a flash drive in the back of my head so she could just upload information into my brain directly. I think she clicked on the wrong button though because all I get are popups!"

Verto stared at him wide-eyed, "Is there anything that woman won't do for your education?"

Gohan didn't answer for a moment, looking like he was staring off into space, "I'm sorry, what did you say? I was clearing the screen."

Verto's face fell, "Never mind. So what are we going to do for the day?"

"There's an island not far from here that the boys wanted to explore, something about everyone that steps foot on it ends up dead or something," Gohan explained briefly.

"And this is a good idea why, again?" Verto asked.

Gohan shrugged, "Well, it's either that or put up with my mother."

Verto bit his lip, "Point taken."

"I hope we find a dinosaur!" Goten claimed happily.

"Stupid, there's dinosaurs all around here. Why would it matter?" Trunks pointed out.

"Because it would be a foreign dinosaur! Then I can say that I have a friend overseas!"

Gohan sighed, "Goten, how many times do I have to tell you, dinosaurs aren't real people. You can be friends with them, but it's not the same. A young kid like you needs real friends, like Trunks."

Goten glanced at the purple headed prince, "But I thought our Mom only wanted us to have rich friends that are girls?"

"She meant rich girlfriends, that's a little different Goten," Gohan said.

"Why?"

"Because when you get older, you'll need to…hey Verto, help me out here," Gohan pleaded.

Verto backed off along with Trunks, "Nope, on your own on that one!"

"Oh come on, you know more about this than I do!" Gohan claimed.

Verto cracked a smile, "Yeah, but I've suffered enough."

"Can I find a girl cat to be friends with that is owned by a really rich person?" Goten asked.

Gohan gave up, "Let's just go."

As Gohan led the way, Verto couldn't help but chuckle slightly as he let the past few days go through his head. _Well, it's a little off from what I expected, but whatever. Might as well enjoy myself._

Somewhere above the clouds though, a certain genie had a sadistic smile on his face and he snapped his fingers, "I think that's long enough."


	6. DBVA 1-3: No

**I wish I owned DBZ, but I don't. I own DVD's and tapes, but it just isn't the same. Nor do I own any legal imprinting of whatever theme I'm using, such as a crossover with another anime, movie or TV series. Did I think it up? Yes. Was I the first to think it up? Probably not, but I digress. I also don't own the rights to any of the music pieces you see selected, just the merchandise, such a shame. The artists that created them are geniuses and we all must bow to them.**

**Chapter 3: No**

Verto's partial smirk held all the way to the island, though he never said why nor did he know. He was just in a really good mood for some reason.

Gohan looked at him wearily, _Uh oh, this can't be good._

"Maybe I can fight a girl mountain lion to be my friend. I wonder if mountain lions have money," Goten wondered aloud, still on the subject his brother had accidentally put him on.

"I doubt it, maybe if your mom bought it a lottery ticket," Trunks muttered.

"What's a lottery?" Goten asked.

"It's that stupid random number drawing they do on TV that has the big jackpot. The lucky winner then gets money if they get all the numbers right. Then they become millionaires for a few months before they spend all the money on stupid things!" Trunks replied.

"Like what? Toys?" Goten asked.

"I said stupid things. You have to have toys," Trunks answered with confidence.

"That's what your mom says," Verto blurted out without thinking. He froze in midair, wide-eyed at what he had said.

Trunks turned his head slightly as he stopped, "Well duh, kids have to have those. And my mom is the smartest person around, of course she would know that."

Verto blinked sharply, "Right, forget it."

"Man, our new butler sure is strange," Trunks grumbled as he flew on with Goten.

Verto slowly followed as he let the brief moment replay in his head. _What the hell was that? Why did I suddenly say that worthless joke? Whether he understood it or not I still shouldn't have said it. Unless…damn you Popo!_ He shook his head in dismay and caught up to the others quickly, drawing their confused expressions.

"You okay? I know this is a lot to adjust to," Gohan said.

"Oh I'm good, so good I feel like blowing a black genie's head off," Verto growled back.

"Oh that, yeah I thought so. You were lucky that he chose not to do anything right away. At least you have your health," Gohan reminded.

"Yeah, call me Mister Lucky. If I were any luckier, I'd have your mom as a tutor and Bulma as a wife," Verto said, his eyes snapping open at the end along with everyone else's once the words were finished. They all stopped in midair again, though the smaller pair of boys were none too happy.

"What did you say about my mom you butler scum?! When my dad hears about this, you're gonna get it!" Trunks claimed.

Goten was more confused than the rest of them, "What's a tutor? Is that a new kind of animal I can be friends with? Is it a girl and rich?"

Gohan put a finger to his chin, "Hmmm, I wonder. Verto, what do you think of my dad?"

"But he's never met him, I barely remember him when I was little," Trunks pointed out. Gohan nodded and motioned for him to be quiet.

"I think your dad eats too much, neglects his family too much and dies too much. Also, might want to work on things that don't involve eating, training or fighting. Like thinking," Verto answered.

"That's mean, my dad saved the whole world!" Goten clamored.

"Man, did my dad and Piccolo use speed mode again? You clearly didn't get enough beatings when you were training with them!" Trunks added.

"Do you mean the 'punch the brick wall' sessions, or the 'run for my life before they catch me in three seconds' game? I didn't really enjoy either of those. Maybe you mean the question of 'which asshole is going to beat me bloody today?'. Just pick one, it certainly didn't get old for either of those two dickheads," Verto said in spite.

Trunks blinked sharply, "I thought you couldn't remember any of it?"

"They're called memories and dreams, sometimes you get to relive those even they happen fast. Are you sure your hair isn't naturally blonde? Or did you inherit your father's stubbornness and can't listen to facts?" Verto asked.

"I get it, Popo makes you speak your mind all the time. Even if it's a harmless joke that you would normally push back so not to insult someone. Well get ready for a lot of fights with certain people I'd say. We'll just have to make sure we don't take you too seriously," Gohan declared.

Verto nodded grimly, "I thought it would actually be much worse and sooner than this. Could've sworn I've missed something lately…" A bird promptly flew into his side and pecked at his wrapped up tail, causing him to wince before shooing it away, "Damn it. Never mind!"

"Ha, you can't control what you say! You are so dead once my dad and Goten's mom hear you talk from now on!" Trunks claimed with a finger in the air.

"What do you think about replacing your bed springs with about three hundred hungry snakes? I imagine that wouldn't be a good nights sleep," Verto warned.

Trunks stared back in surprise for a moment, "What? Well now that I know about it I'll check my bed tonight! You won't take me by surprise!"

"Who said anything about tonight? It won't be when you expect it," Verto replied in a darker tone, "Last night I wasn't sure if I should just continue watching you snore, or silence you by dropping a few knives down your throat."

Trunks noticeably shook in place with a mix of nervousness and anger, "You watched me sleep?"

Verto smirked evilly, "That's right. No one ever suspects the butler."

Trunks cringed and backed up a step before glancing towards Gohan for support, "You're not gonna let him get us are you?"

Verto laughed, "Too easy."

Gohan shook his head, "Was that part of Popo's plan too?"

Verto's grin disappeared, "…Ah hell. He must've known that I bullshit people like that frequently. Now he's jacked up the volume on it too. Ugh, sorry about that."

Gohan shrugged it off, "It happens, let's just go see what's on this island."

"I'd rather go wring that genie's fucking neck," Verto said in anger. Another bird promptly crashed into his side, and he glared in the direction of the lookout before following the others.

They flew for a good while before coming up to a small island with a large mountain at its center. There was a large cave opening near the base for all the world to see, where Trunks and Goten dived towards.

"Last one there doesn't get any treasure!" Trunks called out.

Verto rolled his eyes, "Only thing we're likely to find is the skeleton of the last idiot that said that." The boys were first ones there and proceeded inside before promptly yelling at the top of their lungs. Verto and Gohan glanced at each other before rushing down. They had just entered the cave when they saw not one but dozens of bone piles littering the place.

Verto's eyebrow shot into the air, "…Or we could find a dead pirate crew. Nice place, love the floor design."

"I wonder what killed them all," Gohan pondered.

"Stupidity," Verto muttered.

"I wonder if one of them left a sword behind," Trunks added.

"If you can get past the cobwebs," Verto pointed out.

"I wonder if one of them had a pet parrot," Goten said.

Verto stared at him before snorting lightly, "I hope a tiger ate it."

"That's mean!"

"Your point?"

"Hey there's a light over there, maybe someone living here can tell us what happened," Gohan said as he pointed towards the back of the cave.

"I'd wager on cannibalism," Verto said as he followed.

"Hey Trunks, what's canni-bull, that thing he called it?" Goten asked.

Trunks froze, "Ummm, sometimes butlers say strange things."

"They eat people," Verto hinted.

Goten backed away, "What?!"

Gohan glared at Verto, "Ease off will ya?"

"Let me kill the genie," Verto bargained.

"You can't, because that would be sensible. And what can we never do boys?" Gohan asked.

"Anything that makes sense otherwise the whole world might explode. Long live King Popo!" Goten and Trunks recited.

Verto's lip twisted slightly, "Looks like he got to you at an early age. Is he a priest too?" Gohan cringed while Goten and Trunks looked confused.

"What does a priest have to do with it?" Trunks asked.

"Is he talking about that day King Popo told us to go up to the lookout with those weird collar things on?" Goten added.

Verto's eyes shot open, "Seriously? Well now we know what he does all day and why I haven't seen Dende yet."

"Umm, hey look what's that over there?" Gohan desperately pointed out in order to change the subject. They had reached the back of the cave, which was decorated by strange markings and banners, all illuminated by torches past a slightly smaller doorway. In the middle of this area was a large campfire but no one appeared to be tending it.

"How weird, I wonder who lives here?" Gohan asked.

"One of those canni-bull things? I don't wanna be eaten!" Goten cried out.

Trunks rolled his eyes, "It's probably just some idiot that got shipwrecked or something."

"He'll probably have a long ass beard. I bet there's a volleyball somewhere," Verto snickered.

"Hmmm? What's this? How do you know about Wilson?" a voice asked from behind. All four turned to see an imp of an old man with a beard as long as his body, carrying a string of fresh fish.

Verto smirked, "Called it."

"Who are you? Why are you here? Do you need rescuing?" Gohan asked.

"Hmmm? If I needed rescuing, I wouldn't be hiding in a cave," the old man claimed.

"I like how he ignored the first two questions," Verto said.

"I want your fish old man, gimme!" Trunks declared.

"No, it took me five hours to catch all these!" the aging midget claimed.

"Those? It wouldn't even take five minutes with the fish in this ocean," Gohan pointed out.

"Yes but I'm old, it's easy to lose track of time when you fall asleep with the line in the water. I don't have any beer or shiny objects to distract me like you country folk!"

Verto folded his arms, "I don't think anyone would confuse you with a redneck at this point, you're too old to tell the difference. I can't imagine gravity has been too kind over the years, but maybe your memory is so shot that you can't remember that much anyway."

The old man scowled at him, "You're supposed to be kind to old people! Especially when they've lived long enough…to…to…what was I saying again?"

Verto shrugged, "I hate being right."

"I still want your fish, give em over and no one has to get hurt!" Trunks warned with a grin.

"Hmph, if you want them, come and get them!" Trunks was too happy to oblige and charged towards the old man, whose hands flew up out of his robe and glowed. Trunks went flying backwards and the cave lit up with blue light as a sort of hole opened up behind him.

Trunks went flying into it and disappeared, "You stupid old cooooooooooooooot!"

Gohan, Goten and Verto tensed up to act, only to see the old man wagging his finger, "I just sent him to another universe, and the only way back is to defeat the evil presence there. And after that you'll have to defeat a few more, depending on where the portal leads. You can have the fish or you can go save him. I am an accomplished wizard though, so it won't be _that_ easy. Your choice."

"I'd settle on the fish, just sayin," Verto said with a shrug.

"No, let's go get Trunks. We'll be back old man," Gohan proclaimed as he moved towards the portal.

"Maybe."

The trio caught up to Trunks quickly once on the other side, where he had his face planted in the ground, "Man, why did I do that?"

Verto was first to land, "Let's see, the simple reason is Vegeta genes I think."

Trunks wiped the dirt off, "You're so fired when we get home."

"Where are we anyway?" Gohan asked. They all glanced around the area, which appeared to be a empty park. The sounds of someone fighting could be heard just over a nearby hill, and the quartet of Saiyans moved in that direction. A large sign that read 'Angle Grove Park' greeted them, with the battle taking place a little further away.

Verto's eyes went wide, "No…" At the base of the hill, a group of five teenagers of various descent were fighting with a larger squad of gray aliens bearing white armor. Further away was some sort of brown monster with a large horn on it's head.

"Who are they?" Goten asked.

Trunks turned his head slightly, "What are those clay things they're fighting?"

"Whoever they all are, they won't beat that big guy in the back," Gohan noted.

Verto shook his head furiously, "No…not this." The five teens started to get beat up quickly and were thrown to the ground by the squad of gray aliens. They all managed to get back to their feet and collectively reached behind their backs for something. A cloud of smoke suddenly burst up around them for a moment before they emerged wearing suits of five different colors.

"Oh they have a trick up their sleeves that increases their strength, that's good," Trunks pointed out.

"They should be able to handle the weak grunts easily. That monster in the back might be tough though," Gohan added.

Verto finally seemed to lose it, "No! No! No!" His hair shifted upwards and turned gold as he turned Super Saiyan and charged forward, flying past the teenagers. In the span of a second, he systematically phased in and out to each gray alien, shattering them upon impact. He landed in front of the monster, breathing hard from what appeared to be anger and not fatigue.

"What? Who are you? Are you one of the Power Rangers too?!" the monster asked.

Verto growled slightly, "No!" He dashed in and buried his fist into the monster's gut, prompting an explosion when it fell over.

The decimated monster lay in the ground, flinching in agony while Verto spat on it, "No." He turned and stomped away towards the Power Rangers, who had yet to move out of surprise.

"Umm, good job team!" Blue Ranger declared.

"Who are you, that was amazing!" Black Ranger said.

"He's a cute one," Pink Ranger pointed out.

"And he's got the right color," Yellow Ranger added.

Verto held his head slightly and kept on moving past them, "No…"

The Red Ranger blocked his path, "Hey now, we need some answers." A loud crash went off behind them as lightning struck from the sky, hitting the monster.

Verto stopped in his tracks and snarled at the air, "Argh, no!" The monster he had just put down got up and swelled in size, passing most tall buildings before it finally stopped growing.

"Uh oh, we need MegaZord power!" Red Ranger called out.

"No!" Verto said as his golden aura came to life before he soared up into the air and charged a vivid red beam behind him that darkened the skies.

"Bah! You can't stop me now! I'm going to devour you all…" the monster shouted.

Verto's frown had yet to fade, "No." He fired the large beam and skewered the monster easily through it's torso, leaving nothing left. The monster fell over again and blew up, this time leaving nothing behind. Verto snorted slightly and descended to the ground, powering down to his normal form as he did. Gohan, Goten and Trunks quickly joined him there, with the former wondering what had just happened.

"Why did you just go off like that? You know you didn't need to turn Super Saiyan for these guys. Were you just too eager to fight a real opponent or what?" Gohan asked. Verto shot a glare towards Gohan and then to the five Power Rangers that were approaching behind him. He motioned Gohan to whispering range while Goten and Trunks both looked a bit nervous.

"Man, I thought Dad was lying. The butler really is stronger than us!" Trunks said.

"But not my big brother!" Goten pointed out.

"If we ever get into a fight with him, we'll have to use _that_," Trunks said.

"But we can't use _that_ Trunks, we have to learn it first!" Goten argued as Gohan stood back up.

"Details, details. What did he say Gohan? Why did he suddenly go nuts?" Trunks asked.

"Something about a lame TV show and not wanting to sit through a long, drawn out and pointless battle when he could just end it in seconds. Either way, crisis is over," Gohan replied.

"No it isn't. We've been fighting monsters like that for a long time now. There's a new threat every other day, depending on how fast they make the monsters up there on the moon," Red Ranger said behind them. They turned to officially greet the Power Rangers as they appeared to power down and regain their human appearances. Verto finally seemed to snap out of his mood, but was no more pleasant than he had been when he turned towards them.

"We could just blow up the moon and wipe out all of them now," Verto suggested.

"We can't do that, it doesn't advance the story!" Red Ranger claimed.

"No more moonlight walks in the rice fields?!" Yellow Ranger added.

Pink Ranger was quick to join in, "No more love in the air and bags over my head?!"

"No more easy bikes to steal?!" Black Ranger said.

Blue Ranger was quick to interrupt, "Yeah and what about the tidal waves and earthquakes and other crazy stuff that'll happen! What will reflect the sunlight back to us while it travels around the world at approximately ten to sixteen miles per hour! How will we ever see an eclipse again? Our days will get shorter again because the moon isn't slowing down the Earth's rotation! And we'll never again have leap year! I want to celebrate my birthday, not skip it like it never existed!"

"NERD!" the entire group said at the same time.

Trunks chuckled, "Look Gohan, we found their world's version of you." The discussion ended with the sudden arrival of an army of monsters along with their leader. He was a freakish red with a very odd face and was covered in glimmering metal, holding a large staff with a Z on it's end.

"It's Lord Zed!" Red Ranger pointed out.

Verto smacked his head slightly as he groaned, "No…"

"So Power Rangers, you've found some new allies. But it doesn't matter, I've brought more than enough backup to handle all of you!" Zed declared.

The Power Rangers were about to morph back into their ranger forms when Verto stepped ahead of them, "Don't bother, I've got this."

"Are you sure?" Black Ranger asked, "I'm sure I could find a group of brothers to help. Maybe the panthers are in town. They'll show these bums what's what! They'll think twice about voting the wrong way ever again!"

"We've got ninjas too, a few of those might help!" Yellow Ranger suggested.

"We should look at the situation logically before we make any sudden moves. We have no idea how powerful any of these monsters are and without a session of trial and error along with a quick trip to my chemistry lab, we might be doomed," Blue Ranger said calmly.

"We don't have time for that! We have to lose to them first!" Red Ranger argued.

"Hold on, let me find my makeup kit. I'm told that'll drive even the most desperate creatures away," Pink Ranger said.

Verto's lip curled almost all the way up as he turned around for a moment, "Okay, all of you do me a favor. Shut the fuck up!"

"That's rude. Only my boyfriends are allowed to say that to me," Pink Ranger said.

"Yeah, we were only trying to suggest a good idea that we've never thought of before we destroy the monsters with our usual arsenal!" Red Ranger claimed.

Blue Ranger adjusted his glasses, "If I'm not allowed to do my calculations, our chances of victory drop by point zero one percent."

Black Ranger was searching his pants for something, "You stay right there whitey, Imma 'bout to bust a cap in yo ass! Then I'll bust a move!"

"If you apologize I'll cook you more food than you'll ever have. Then you can buy my sister for a wife and have her shipped overseas!" Yellow Ranger promised.

Verto scowled, _Yeah I'm done with this. _He responded by letting his energy surge, blowing all five of them backwards with the wind it generated. He then stepped towards the patient Lord Zed.

"Oh look, a volunteer brat. I hope you enjoy oblivion!" Zed declared.

"I'm sure it would be more fun than what you had in high school you queer bastard," Verto remarked as he folded his arms.

"Oh that does it! I'm going to turn you all into a pile of ashes!" Zed shouted as he pointed his staff forward.

Verto put one hand up as it charged with golden energy, "No." He fired a barrage of small blasts at the gaggle of monsters, blowing each one of them away around Lord Zed. Even though his facial expressions were non-existent, Zed's fear could clearly be seen as he backed up a step.

"What was that, twenty-one or twenty-two? I honestly lost count. Which one is next, or should I just stop with you?" Verto smirked as he prepared one last blast.

Zed held his staff up and pointed his finger at Verto, "Mark my words boy, you will all perish just as soon as I unleash my greatest weapon!" Verto scowled again as he amplified his blast and turned towards the sky. He quickly turned Super Saiyan again and fired a huge ball of energy almost straight up, aiming right for the half-moon high in the sky. The daylight faded and darkened for a moment as it passed through, and then cleared again just before the moon suddenly popped and vanished, leaving behind only a small array of dust that quickly scattered.

"What? But that's not fair!" Zed whined.

Verto powered down to normal, "You're right, I went way too far with that one. I honestly could have just flown up there and punched it away. Tell you what, I'll try to remember that in the next few seconds."

Zed straightened up, "Are you serious?"

Verto snorted, "No."

"Just what the hell are you? How could you destroy all my creations so easily by yourself? Are you some sort of monster I've never seen before?" Zed demanded to know.

Verto turned his head just slightly as his smirk returned, "No, I'm Rambo bitch!"

Zed turned his head just slightly, "Doesn't Rambo use a knife?" Veins popped out on Verto's head as all smiles vanished. He flashed forward so fast that Zed couldn't even see what happened until his head landed upside down and Verto landed past him. The young Saiyan turned and fired another blast, finishing off what was left.

Almost immediately another blue portal appeared nearby and Verto flew towards it with haste, "About time!"

"Wait, you didn't get a chance to meet Zordon!" Blue Ranger called out.

Verto paused right in front of the portal, "I'd rather vomit." He then turned and flew straight in without a second thought.

"Um, so nice meeting you, thank you for wiping out all the bad guys?" Red Ranger said, almost confused.

"Don't mind our butler, he gets carried away," Trunks replied with annoyance as he followed. Gohan and Goten glanced at each other and shrugged before flying towards the portal as well.

"So what was that all about?" Yellow Ranger asked.

"I don't know, I wonder if they didn't like me. Oh damn, my makeup is already running, no wonder!" Pink Ranger pointed out as she stared at her handheld mirror.

"I get the feeling he didn't like any of us too much. I feel like that every time I go to a party with those guys that wear the white hoods," Black Ranger said as he scratched his head.

Blue Ranger put up one finger in deep thought, "It could be that those guys come from another dimension. That explains how they could be so strong compared to us and Zed's monsters. Also that portal is totally like that show Sliders, except they're traveling to other universes and not just timelines. But I'm not sure how he turned his hair gold or fired off those blasts of condensed heat. I must investigate this and see if it's possible for humans to do such a thing on their own…"

"NERD!"

**A/n: Oddly enough, it might have made more sense if the original had been like that. And yes, I laughed the entire time while I wrote it.**


End file.
